Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Hole-In-One

Volume 7, Issue 45

Hello All,

Walkerville Fire Department’s World Famous First Day of Deer Season Fish Fry, Saturday, November 12. Be there or B Square.
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This is Veterans Day and we’ve got several Veteran related items in “Da Bleat”. Do your part ... tell a Veteran you appreciate them.
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We’ve gone Wireless (at least for a while.) Keith came by this evening and installed a wireless data-receiving antenna on one of my HAM radio antenna poles. Magnolia Internet has been experimenting with wireless Internet service for several weeks now.
This evening’s installation is a continuation of those experiments.
Once we had the antenna about 20' off the ground, we ran the data cable inside and hooked up a laptop in the kitchen.
Once we set up the network connection we were AMAZED at the speed of the connection (approximately 25% faster than DSL.) Wow! We tried several graphic intensive sites and the download times were in the parts of seconds!
So, tomorrow, I’ll be moving this computer into the kitchen and will begin using wireless as my connection with the Internet here in Magnolia.
We’ll keep you posted as the experiment progresses.
~~~~~
Last week we talked about the importance of joining a “Bible Believing Body of Believers” to maintain, recover, and strengthen your faith. Today, I’d like to introduce you to TBN.
Trinity Broadcasting Network is that channel that you surf through if you haven’t got it blocked.
Let me challenge you to go to TBN on purpose and leave the TV on while you’re in the room. I promise that you’ll be blessed by their programming.
This evening I was troubled in spirit. Two young men we know have died this week, one in a traffic accident and one due to illness. Also, a friend is growing weaker in her fight with cancer.
These aren’t happy things to dwell on. But this evening, we’ve left the TV on TBN and their programs of faith and God’s love have renewed our Spirits. We remember that we win.
Give ‘em a try.
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This week, some of the top news is the deterioration of the President’s approval rating along with sliding numbers of American’s who support our actions in Iraq.
Please, take the time to look at some of the troops blogs as well as sites like Michael Yon’s. We are doing good in Iraq. Those people are getting a chance to have a life. Don’t let the negative reporting and terrorist’s bombs put scales over your eyes. Our troops have sacrificed much to bring a better future to these people. Don’t support those who would have us turn our back on “the cradle of civilization.”
~~~~~
From GFC - This wasn't sent to me by another person or list, nor was it found posted elsewhere. It's just a few thoughts about a holiday, which is special to me. It's one of those few times when I share something serious instead of humorous. -Tom

This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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GCF: Veteran's Day 2005 (Serious, not humor)

In the United States, Veteran's Day is this Friday, November 11th (this is also Remembrance Day in Canada). In the early 1970's, Veteran's Day became a "movable" holiday -- the fourth Monday of October. In 1978, at the urging of veteran's groups who realized the sanctity of the date, Congress returned Veteran's Day to November 11th. Please remember that this day is not to honor war, but rather to honor the sacrifice made by others for our freedom.

What we call Veteran's Day is the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice in the Forest of Campiegne by the Allies and the Germans in 1918 (the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month). This signified the end of World War I and was originally known as Armistice Day. President Woodrow Wilson signed the Congressional Resolution on Nov. 11, 1919, the first Armistice Day.

However, after World War II, the day began to lose meaning and since there were many other veterans to consider, the decision was made to change November 11th to honor all those who fought in American wars. The United States Congress passed an act to change the name to Veteran's Day and in 1954 President Dwight Eisenhower signed the act.

With that in mind, I would like to say "thank you" to all the men and women with whom I served, and to especially remember those who aren't with us anymore. As a former Hospital Corpsman, I wish a heartfelt "Semper Fi" to all my Marine friends.

- Tom Ellsworth
(HM2 USN 1965-69)

Note: Last year, my Veteran's Day piece dealt with the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetery. That can be found in the GCF Archives at this address:

http://home.kcbx.net/~tellswor/vets2004.htm

This year I thought that I'd return to one of the first Veteran's Day postings I did. The following piece was attributed to a Marine Corps Chaplain (more about that in a minute), but as a Hospital Corpsman, I know that technically any chaplain with a Marine unit is really a member of the US Navy, just as any doctor, nurse, or hospital corpsman (medic) is a member of the US Navy. This bit of military trivia is most likely not known by most people, but it in no way diminishes the powerful message of the piece nor my profound respect for the Marines.

My attribution below is to "Reverend" Denis O'Brien, instead of Marine Chaplain Denis O'Brien.

Father Denis Edward O'Brien, was in the Marine Corps, but he was not ordained a priest until 1953, after his military service. He joined the Marine Corps shortly after Pearl Harbor in 1941. He had just begun his seminary studies but felt that service to his country was important. He served with the First Marine Division FMF and was Honorably Discharged in 1945.

Father O'Brien was always quick to state that he was not the author of the piece, but did find the text poignant. I am sorry to say the original author is not known.

More information about the Reverend Denis Edward O'Brien can be found at the following web sites:

http://www.iwvpa.net/o_briende/

http://www.semperficatholic.com/page4.html

http://spxdallas.org/Clergy/DenisObrienMemorial.htm

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WHAT IS A VETERAN?
(Attributed to the Reverend Denis Edward O'Brien)

Some veterans bear visible signs of their service: a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eye. Others may carry the evidence inside them, a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel in the leg - or perhaps another sort of inner steel: the soul's ally forged in the refinery of adversity.

Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem. You can't tell a vet just by looking.
What is a vet?

A vet is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.

A vet is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th Parallel.

A vet is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.

A vet is the POW who went away one person and came back another - or didn't come back at all.

A vet is the drill instructor who has never seen combat - but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account punks and gang members into marines, airmen, sailors, soldiers and coast guardsmen, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.

A vet is the parade-riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.

A vet is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.

A vet is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.

A vet is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket - palsied now and aggravatingly slow - who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.

A vet is an ordinary and yet extraordinary human being, a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.

A vet is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more that the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known.

So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say, "Thank You." That's all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded.

Those two little words mean a lot ... "THANK YOU".
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As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer:

"Lord keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in Your loving hands and protect them as they protect us."

Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before, in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.
~~~~~
Speaking of Veterans, we saw Dave Roever [http://www.daveroever.net/] on TV last night. It was good to see this evangelist still doing God’s work. We first saw him at an Assembly of God Christ’s Ambassador’s convention back in ‘75 in Hot Springs.
And, Mike Warnke [http://www.mikewarnke.org/], another Vietnam Vet is back ministering. Mike had some problems but has submitted to a board of Christians, gotten his life back together and is sharing the good news.
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http://www.michaelyon.blogspot.com/ is the blog of Michael Yon P O Box 416 Westport Pt MA 02791. Michael writes from Iraq where he’s embedded with our soldiers. He’s an independent, informed observer chronicling the monumentally important events in the efforts to stabilize Iraq. His dispatches have the benefit of his life experiences without drawbacks based on deadlines or demands of marketplace. Check him out.
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Last Saturday, we again had the privilege of cooking pancakes for MCC’s Dream Center kids. If you want to have a super time and do something great for kids, meet us at the G.C. Kirksey Life Center the next 1st Saturday. We start cooking at 8 am to serve the kids getting off the busses at 10 am. Just ask Brother Terry, it was his first time cooking with us and he did a FANTASTIC job.
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The first Magnolia Christian Center’s Monthly Men’s Sunday Morning Prayer Breakfast was held last Sunday. We had about 25 men there to enjoy sausage, biscuits, eggs and an excellent exhortation by Brother Tom Miller of University Assembly of God.
This was one of brother Terry’s good ideas. We had a great time cooking, fellowshipping and praying.
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Daphne Roberts spoke to our “Faith Builders” small group this week. Her topic was “Surviving the Storm” and it was great. All of us learned something valuable from her.
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Annette and I saw Dr. Rushing this week. The Doc is taking Annette as a patient.
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It’s never too early to start making your Christmas list. I’m keeping this one running here for the benefit of my family.
1 Gig USB Key
GPS
$49 office chair from SAMS (5 of them)
AA Batteries
9-volt batteries
AAA Batteries
Digital Video Recorder (Pioneer DVR-533H-S $333 at Beach Camera)
VHS - DVD Recorder (Lite-On LVC-9006 $219 @ Buy.com)
Rechargeable Batteries for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (9.6 volts, 600 mAh battery, 2 each (for our two radios)), Yaesu FT-50 (it takes a FNB-83 7.2V1400mAh battery), Yaesu, VX-1 (it takes a FNB-52LI 3.6V 700mAh Lithium-Ion battery).
New “Rubber Ducky” antennas for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (two radios)
Trackball for the home computer
Computer glasses to use at church (and maybe some new ones to use at home and at work.)
A shortwave radio.

This will grow as the season approaches.
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In reference to the story about the destruction of our Titan II rockets . . . A Russian trip to the International Space Station costs about $100,000,000. A trip on the U.S. Space Shuttle costs about $1,000,000,000. Reminds me of the old story about NASA’s solution to writing in weightlessness, they spent a few million and developed a pressurized ballpoint pen. The Soviets gave their Cosmonauts pencils.
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Michael Ammons, son of Mitzi Ammons, and the grandson of Frank & Joyce Neinast, passed away Tuesday as a result of a one-car auto accident on Hwy 79. Michael was 28 years old and leaves behind a wife Patti - sister to Sheri Taylor - and one daughter Jordan.
Please remember this family in your prayers.
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Please pray for Sandy Riggins' She is in the hospital in L.R.
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We had a great time training with our firefighters and the County Rural Fire Departments this week. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again ... I have the best job in the world.
Special thanks to Mary Alexis, Bud Horne, David Pry, Joe Ward, David Kirkpatrick, Steve Savoy, Pat, Charlie & Alyn Hammock, John Burge, and Buddy Kyle for helping us get ready and conduct this training.
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Don't forget ... "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - Pocket Pies - Recipe courtesy Alton Brown, 2005


Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Medium
Prep Time: 40 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: 2 hours
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Yield: 10 to 15 pies or 8 to 10 toaster pastries



Pastry:
9-½ ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 2 cups
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4-teaspoon kosher salt
2 ½ ounces shortening, approximately 6 tablespoons
3/4-cup milk
1 egg mixed with 1 to 2 teaspoons water
Vegetable, canola oil or butter, for frying


Curried Mango Filling, recipe follows
Chocolate Filling, recipe follows

In the bowl of a food processor, combine the flour, baking powder and salt. Pulse for a few seconds and then pour into a large mixing bowl.

Add the shortening and knead it into the flour with your hands until it is crumbly. Add the milk all at once and mix in with a spatula until it begins to come together. Lightly flour your hands and the countertop and turn the dough out onto the countertop. Knead the dough ball, folding over 10 to 20 times. Using a rolling pin roll the dough to 1/3 to ½-inch thickness, then cut into rounds using a 2 1/4-inch ring. Roll each round as thinly as possible or to 5 to 6 inches in diameter. Spoon 1 to 2 tablespoons of filling onto the dough, brush the edges of half of the dough lightly with the egg wash, fold over and seal the edges together with the tines of a fork, dipping it into flour as needed. Gently press down to flatten and evenly distribute the filling and snip or cut 3 slits in the top of the pie. Dock pies that are going to be deep-fried, instead of snipping or cutting slits.

To pan-fry pies, place a medium sauté pan over medium low heat along with 1 to 2 tablespoons vegetable, canola oil or butter. Once heated, place 2 to 3 pies at a time into pan and sauté until golden on both sides, approximately 3 to 4 minutes per side. Allow to cool 4 to 5 minutes before serving.

To deep-fry pies, heat vegetable oil in a deep fryer or a large heavy pot to 375 degrees F. Once hot, add 1 to 2 pies at a time and fry until golden brown, approximately 3 to 4 minutes.

To bake pies, preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Place finished pies onto an ungreased cookie sheet and bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until golden brown.

To make toaster pastries:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Divide dough in half and roll out to less than 1/8-inch thick. Cut into 4 inch by 5-inch rectangles. Place 1 to 2 tablespoons of filling onto center of one piece of dough. Brush the edges with egg wash and top with second piece of dough. Seal edges by pressing together with tine of fork. Gently press down to flatten and evenly distribute the filling and dock the top of the pie. Repeat with second half of dough.

Bake for 20 minutes. Remove from the oven, allow to cool completely and place into zip-top bags until ready to toast. The pies will not be brown until toasted.


Curried Mango Filling:
4 mangos, peeled and diced, approximately 2 cups or 12 ounces
½ cup brown sugar
½ cup cider vinegar
2 teaspoons curry powder
1/4 cup freshly squeezed limejuice


Place all of the ingredients into a small saucepan over high heat and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover and simmer for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Transfer to a bowl and place in refrigerator to cool completely before using as filling.

For each pie place 1 to 2 tablespoons onto the center of the dough. Follow directions above.

Yield: enough for 10 to 15 pies


Chocolate Filling:
2-½ cups sugar
1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon cocoa powder
Pinch kosher salt
10 ounces unsalted butter, room temperature


Place the sugar, cocoa powder, salt, and butter into a large zip-top bag and squish to combine. Cut a whole in 1 corner of the bag.

For each pie, pipe 1 to 2 tablespoons of mixture onto the center of the dough. Follow directions above.

Yield: enough for 10 to 15 pies

http://foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_32305,00.html
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Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular Mid Premium Diesel
Current Avg. $2.342 $2.487 $2.577 $2.833
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
Wal-Mart in Shreveport, $2.05
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Gas Prices - MSN Autos - Click on the gas station's name and the map zooms in to that specific location. You just plug in your zip code & it tells you which gas stations have the cheapest prices (and the highest) on gas. It's updated every evening (mostly).

Click here: http://autos.msn.com/everyday/gasstations.aspx?zip=&src=Netx

Thanks to Bobbie McClellan
~~~~~


BreakPoint - With Chuck Colson

Blackhawks, Soccer Balls, and Freedom - A Story for Veterans Day - November 11, 2005

The Blackhawk helicopter hovered low over a field in the Sunni Triangle. A lone child, about twelve years old, glances up. Someone, his father, or perhaps an older brother, has taught him to hate Americans—which is why the boy picks up a rock and takes aim.

Army reservist Steven Kiel, who is serving in Iraq, describes what happens next. “The gunner has something in his hand, too, and he’s a bit quicker,” Kiel writes in National Review Online. “Whoosh! A soccer ball flies out of the door of the chopper.” For a moment, the boy stands in utter disbelief. He then “collects himself enough to run after the ball.” Once he retrieves it, “he looks up and with a smile from ear to ear, . . . excitedly waves” to his American benefactors.

“Another friend is made,” Kiel writes. “Another member of the next generation is converted.”

Clearly, our soldiers in Iraq know that a big part of their job is to help heal a war-torn country ruled for decades by a barbaric tyrant—and they’re doing it through the kind of friendliness, generosity, and goodwill that has always marked American soldiers.

I love the way the late historian Stephen Ambrose once wrote about World War II: “The most terrifying sight to most civilians was a squad of armed teenage boys in uniform.” Whether it was the Red Army in Warsaw, the Japanese in Manila, or the Germans in Holland, this sight always meant trouble.

There was one exception to this rule. “Everywhere in the world,” Ambrose wrote, “the sight of a twelve-man squad of GIs brought joy to people’s hearts.” Why? “Because the sight of those American kids meant cigarettes, candy, c-rations, and freedom. They had come not to conquer or terrorize but to liberate.”

Today, Iraqis are seeing the kind of behavior always witnessed when American GIs show up. Sixty years ago, during the Berlin airlift, German children—the offspring of our recent enemies—watched the skies, waiting for American pilots to fly over and drop candy. And during the Gulf War, American soldiers, after vanquishing the Iraqis, offered cartons of milk to their children.

The polls show that many Americans are becoming tired with the war in Iraq. Our soldiers are not. They know they are doing a good and noble thing.

You and I can help them in their difficult task—by sending toys, candy, and socks. As Steven Kiel writes, “Each time I see the look on an Iraqi citizen’s face—the result of a gift back home—my faith in America is renewed.”

And today, Veterans Day, let’s especially pray for the safety of our servicemen—men and women who are winning the peace, and then capturing the hearts of war’s youngest victims—with soccer balls.

Before I sign off today, I want to remind you that Judge John E. Jones in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, is deliberating right now on a crucially important and much-publicized intelligent design case involving the town of Dover. The case may end up in the Supreme Court and could result in a constitutional opinion as to whether intelligent design can be taught in public schools. I hope Christians will do what I’ve been doing: praying for Judge Jones, for his deliberation, for his wisdom, and for the cause of truth.

For further reading and information:

Spend a year studying with Chuck Colson: Learn how to identify, advocate, and apply biblical truth in every arena of life. Apply for the 2006 Centurions Program. The NEW deadline is November 28.

If you want to donate gifts for children in Iraq through American soldiers, according to Steven Kiel’s blog, send them to: LT Sean Cavanaugh, b Co, 1-502d,2BCT, 101 AASLT, APO, AE 09398; or go to AnySoldier.com for more ideas.

Steven Kiel, “Soccer Victories: This Is What We’re About,” National Review Online, 4 November 2005.

See the Library of Congress’s Veterans History Project.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 041111, “No Greater Glory: Four Immortal Chaplains.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 031111, “The Promise of Our Country: Making Patriots.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 040531, “A Soldier’s Valor: Helping and Healing in Iraq.”

See the Discovery Institute’s coverage of the Dover, Pennsylvania, intelligent design trial.

Articles on the BreakPoint website are the responsibility of the authors and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Chuck Colson or Prison Fellowship Ministries. Links to outside articles or websites are for informational purposes only and do not necessarily imply endorsement of their content.

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:

dapple: a small contrasting blotch; also, to mark with spots.
winsome: light-hearted.
verdure: greenness.
propitious: presenting favorable circumstances.
nosegay: a bouquet; a posy.
oneiric: pertaining to or suggestive of dreams.
laudable: praiseworthy; commendable.
puissant: powerful

from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood." - William Penn

"It is universally admitted that a well-instructed people alone can be permanently a free people." - James Madison

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller

"What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those?" - Gilbert Highet

"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo." - H. G. Wells

"How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a naughty world." - William Shakespeare
~~~~~
"Nemo adeo ferus est ut non mitescere possit. [No-one is so savage that he cannot soften.]" - Horace (65-8BC) [Quintus Horacius Flaccus]

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GCF: Hole-In-One

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to: andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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A foursome teed off on the long par-3. The green on this hole lay behind a large bunker, so any shot that made the green would disappear over the top ridge of bunker and you couldn't tell where your ball landed until you arrived on the green.

After the last player hit his shot, the first golfer to hit charged off down the fairway, without waiting for the others. He disappeared over the bunker and seconds later came running back down the fairway
yelling and screaming, "I got a hole-in-one! I don't believe it!"

"You've got to be kidding," said the others. "You run ahead of us down the fairway and disappear behind that bunker, and now, all of a sudden, you claim you have a hole-in-one. How stupid do you think we three are?"

"No, no. It's true. I swear it," he said crossing his heart. "Go look. I left it in the hole to prove it."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Military Time

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
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My wife never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she called the orderly room to speak with me. The person who answered told her to call me at the extension in the band rehearsal hall.

"He can be reached at 4700, Ma'am," the soldier advised.

With a sigh of exasperation, my wife responded, "And just what time is that?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Sawmill

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, William) -Tom
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Two men were working at the sawmill and one guy got too close to the saw and cut his ear off. It fell in the sawdust pit so he jumped down into the pit and was hunting around trying to find it. The second guy saw him and hollered down, "What're you doing?" The first man said that he had cut off his ear and was looking for it. The second guy said, "I'll help you" and jumped in the pit. He was searching around on his hands and knees and then hollered, "I found it!" The first guy took it and examined it closely, then said, "Keep looking. Mine had a pencil behind it."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Need a Raise!

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
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---------------------------------

The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department."

"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look." He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported.

"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Paper View

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
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---------------------------------

I sat there waiting for my new doctor to make his way through the file that contained my very extensive medical history.

After he finished all seventeen pages, he looked at me and said, "You look better in person than you do on paper."
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why does flammable and \ /
\ _/ inflammable mean the same thing? \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I assume full responsibility \ /
\ _/ for my actions, except the ones \_ /
/ / that are someone else's fault. \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A Zen master once said to me, \ /
\ _/ "Do the opposite of whatever \_ /
/ / I tell you." So I didn't. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Fun fact: They have square \ /
\ _/ watermelons in Japan ... \_ /
/ / they stack better. \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If a stealth bomber \ /
\ _/ crashes in a forest, \_ /
/ / will it make a sound? \ _ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( / / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ _( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Decision Making - Some Interesting Points Of View

* For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. (H L Mencken)

* Every decision you make is a mistake. (Edward Dahlberg)

* Our business in life is not to succeed, but to continue to fail in good spirits. (Robert Louis Stephenson)

* Only one thing is certain - that is, nothing is certain. If this statement is true, it is also false. (Ancient Paradox)

* Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. (Will Rogers)

* There is nothing more requisite in business than dispatch. (Joseph Addison)

* There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action. (Goethe)

* A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience. (Oliver Wendell Holmes)

* Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it. (Henry Ford)

* If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't
thinking. (George Patton)

* Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness. (Cullen Hightower)

* Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat. (Sun Tzu)

* Planning without action is futile; action without planning is fatal. (Unknown)

* The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand. (Sun Tzu)

* Confidence is what you feel before you comprehend the situation. (Proverb)

* A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. (Mitch Ratliffe)

Received from Trey Nolen.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Died Owing

An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery. Pausing before one gravestone, he said, "There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50 dollars, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts, and if anyone has gone to heaven, he has."

They walked on a bit farther and then came to another grave.
The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, "Now there's a different type of man altogether. He owed me 60 dollars, and he died without ever trying to pay me back. If anyone has gone to hell, he has."

The little boy thought for a while and then said, "You know, Grandpa, you are very lucky."

"Why?" asked the old man in surprise.

"Well, whichever place you go to, you'll have some money to draw on."

Received from Pastor Tim.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Military Chat

During the second Gulf War, I was an Air Force colonel. I routinely flew on different aircraft to familiarize myself with their capabilities. One day I was aboard an intelligence aircraft where each crew member was surrounded by complex gear.

A young major showed me his computer screen. "That's a chat screen, sir," the soldier said. "We use it to relay enemy information to the crew. It's like instant messaging."

Nodding, I moved down the line. Flashing on an airman's screen several feet away was this warning: "Heads up! The colonel's on the way!"

Received from Pastor Tim.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Cockpit Tour

At the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle, there is a full-size mockup of an F/A-18 fighter. A ramp allows visitors to climb into the cockpit and get a sense of what the pilot sees and feels.

A guide at the top of the ramp points out the various
controls and gauges in the cockpit and gives information about the aircraft's capabilities to each visitor who gets in.

When my two-year-old son sat down in the plane, he seemed fascinated by all he saw and heard. Then he looked out at us and said, "Grandma, could I have a quarter?"

Received from Steve Sanderson.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] My Birthday?

Because of a minor infraction, a shipmate of mine aboard the USS Reeves, bound for Japan, was busted one rank, fined and given extra duty for three weeks. Looking forward to celebrating his 21st birthday on July 22, he consoled himself every night during his extra duty by reciting, "They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they can't take away my birthday." As July 22 approached, his excitement increased.
When he went to bed on July 21, he happily repeated, "They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they can't take away my birthday."

The next morning, he found out that the ship had crossed the international date line -- and it was July 23.

Received from FranCMT2.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
– NEW! Go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20050124 to rate this funny from 0 to 5.
-=+=-
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List "A cheerful heart is good medicine!" (Prov 17:22a) Go to http://gcfl.net/mlfrontend.php to change your subscription options or unsubscribe. To email this funny to a friend, go to http://gcfl.net/emailit.php?funny=20050107 The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://gcfl.net/latest.php
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Okay, here's the plan: Back off and let men marry men, women marry women, and totally legalize abortion.
In three generations, there will be no Democrats!!!
~
Can’t you take a joke?
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BRAIN CRAMPS

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.) Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." (we are????) --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH !) and he wanted to be President!!!!!!!!!

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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." does he know where he almost grew up???..... --Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" (I say all we can get, I'll take his clean air) --Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." (Oh, well that's different, I think)?????? --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." (really???????) --Bill Clinton, President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP (Gee but he's smart)

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Feeling smarter yet?
Thanks to Pam Burton
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Remedy for a Bad Job Day

When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair, open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement, "Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson."

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS WORSE THAN YOURS.

Daphne Roberts
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
Today's Clean Laugh

*Understanding the Signs*

Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants' restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), but every so often we get stumped.

Recently my husband Dave wandered off in search of the men's room and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One was labeled "Bronco," and the other was designated "Cactus." Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee passing by. "Excuse me; I need to use the restroom," Dave said. Gesturing toward the doors, he asked, "Which one should I use?"

"Actually, we would prefer you to go there," the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked "Men."

"Bronco and Cactus are private dining rooms."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

"Eye Laugh"

"There Goes The Neighborhood"

http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=178

(-:][:-)

*Signs You Are In For A Long Sermon*

Top Ten Signs You Are In For A Long Sermon

10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.

9. The pews have camper hookups.

8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.

7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.

6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.

5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.

4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.

3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.

2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.

And The Number One Sign You Are In For A Long Sermon

1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only September!

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

(-:][:-)

*Why Some Countries CAN'T Go Metric!*

If the metric system did ever take over, we'd have to change our thinking to the following:

* A miss is as good as 1.6 kilometers.

* Put your best 0.3 of a meter forward.

* Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child.

* Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.

* Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he'll take 1.609 kilometers.

* Peter Piper picked 8.8 liters of pickled peppers.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

"Eye Laugh"

"Good Fishing"

http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=175

(-:][:-)

Career Cooling

Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My position had been reclassified to fall into a new area outside of the I/S staff.

One day, my new supervisor entered the room and stared at the air conditioning unit directly behind me. He studied the two flashing lights for a few moments and asked what job it was currently processing.

I killed my career by replying, "Actually, sir, it's cooling the room. The computer is over there."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

"Eye Laugh"

501 Degrees

http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=174

(-:][:-)

Pregnant Stamp

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink.

The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband dug out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was.

In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

"Eye Laugh"

Assimilated

http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=153

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/starbucks.html - - Ode To Starbucks (Humor column about cappuccino addiction, the Starbucks revolution, and life in Bayside, Queens, New York)
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Official Veterans Day Web Site - - http://www1.va.gov/opa/vetsday/ - - Armistice Day officially became a holiday in the United States in 1926, and a national holiday 12 years later. On June 1, 1954, the name was changed to Veterans Day to honor all U.S. veterans. In 1968, new legislation changed the national commemoration of Veterans Day to the fourth Monday in October. It soon became apparent, however, that November 11 was a date of historic significance to many Americans. Therefore, in 1978 Congress returned the observance to its traditional date. Related sites: InfoPlease: Veterans Day - http://www.infoplease.com/spot/veteransday1.html / Library of Congress: Veterans History Project - http://www.loc.gov/vets//stories/ / Most Commonly Asked Veterans Day Questions - http://www1.va.gov/opa/vetsday/vetday_faq.htm.
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Microsoft AntiSpyware - - http://www.microsoft.com/athome/security/spyware/software/default.mspx - - Microsoft AntiSpyware offers a capable spyware scan and removal engine that has proven superior to popular freeware offerings like Ad-Aware and Spybot Search and Destroy. Microsoft AntiSpyware goes even further, letting you purge Internet caches, recently used file lists, and cookie files to better ensure your privacy.
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Human Body and Mind - - http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/ - - Fascinating BBC site explores the human body and mind. Features include: Interactive Body, Psychological Tests and Human Instinct.
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CIA: The World Factbook 2005 - - http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/index.html - - Country information has been updated as of April 21, 2005. Along with the new entities and the regular information updates, The World Factbook now also features six new fields. In the 'People' category, a major infectious diseases field has been added for countries deemed to pose a higher degree of risk for travelers. In the 'Economy' category, entries have been added for current account balance, investment (gross fixed), public debt, and reserves of foreign exchange and gold. The 'Transnational' issues category has a new refugees and internally displaced persons entry.
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Global Gateway: World Culture and Resources - - http://international.loc.gov/intldl/intldlhome.html - - Global Gateway is a gateway to rich primary source materials relating to the history and culture. The site offers more than 80 thousand digital items. In addition, it is a portal to international research centers, collections, and other resources available at the Library of Congress and through its Web site.
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Bankruptcy Resource Center - - http://www.nolo.com/resource.cfm/catID/462A9501-9B21-4E09-A08C5A7B8AF51A79/213/161 - - Nolo.com presents this site with information on bankruptcy. Now that the new bankruptcy law is in effect, the landscape has changed for those who are considering bankruptcy. All debtors will have to get credit counseling before they can file a bankruptcy case -- and additional counseling on budgeting and debt management before their debts can be wiped out. Some filers with higher incomes won't be allowed to use Chapter 7, but will instead have to repay at least some of their debt under Chapter 13. Related sites: The New Bankruptcy Law and You / Bankruptch & Debt.
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PandemicFlu.gov - - http://www.pandemicflu.gov/ - - The official U.S. government Web site for information on pandemic flu and avian influenza. PandemicFlu.gov is intended to provide comprehensive government-wide information on pandemic influenza and avian influenza. In the event of a pandemic, this will be the authoritative site for U.S. government information on the pandemic. This Web site is a component of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Risk Communication and Public Engagement Strategy for Pandemic Influenza.
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"Many smokers think that nicotine causes cancer, and they are therefore very reluctant to use nicotine replacement in the form of patches or gum to help them quit smoking, according to surprise findings of a survey reported here at the annual meeting of the American College of Chest Physicians. The survey consisted of 1,139 people -- 482 men and 657 women -- enrolled in a smoking cessation program at North Shore-Long Island Jewish Health System in Great Neck, New York. The participants were questioned about the their beliefs regarding smoking and the risk of developing cancer, and nicotine's part in that cancer risk."
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"Thousands of people have money sitting at the Internal Revenue Service that could be claimed if they would just tell the tax collectors where they live. The IRS said October 25, 2005 that $73 million in tax refunds that were sent to taxpayers this year did not reach the destination. In most cases, the post office returned the checks as undeliverable because the taxpayers had moved. The money belongs to more than 84,000 taxpayers, some of whom have more than one check waiting to be claimed. Checking on the status of a refund - by calling 1-800-829-4477 or visiting IRS Web site at http://www.irs.gov - could be worth $871 to the average taxpayer due an unclaimed refund. 'Our goal is to get this money back in the hands of the people it belongs to,' IRS Commissioner Mark Everson said." -
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"Seventy-three percent of Americans lack confidence in their leaders and a majority believe the country would be better off with more women in power, a survey showed on October 25, 2005. The survey by Harvard University's John F. Kennedy School of Government and the U.S. News & World Report also showed that 66 percent of Americans believe the United States faces a leadership crisis. The release of the poll comes as President George W. Bush is struggling to stem a slide in popularity caused by the slow federal response to Hurricane Katrina, the Iraq war and soaring gasoline prices. The nationwide telephone survey of 1,374 adults, taken from September 13 to September 23, covered all levels of U.S. leaders -- from the White House to Congress and state and local governments." -
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"Benjamin Franklin wrote in his 1750 Poor Richard's Almanac that 'There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self.' The problem of achieving accurate self-knowledge hasn't gotten any easier in 250 years; and, as shown in a new research report, there are major real-world consequences to this very human attribute. In 'Flawed Self-Evaluation: Implications for Health, Education, and the Workplace,' investigators David Dunning (Cornell), Chip Heath (Stanford), and Jerry M. Suls (University of Iowa) summarized current psychological research on the accuracy (or rather inaccuracy) of self-knowledge, across a wide range of studies in a range of spheres. Their report is published in the December 2004 issue of Psychological Science in the Public Interest, a journal of the American Psychological Society." -
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"Computer and Internet use is up, but so are concerns about identity theft and other online dangers. Fifty-five percent of American households had access to the Internet at home in 2003, more than triple the percentage in 1997, according to a report released October 27, 2005 by the Census Bureau. Internet usage increased with education, income and the presence of school-age children at home, the report found. It was lowest among adults who have not graduated from high school. School-age children are most likely to use home computers to play games or do school work. Adults are most likely to use home computers for e-mail, to search for information about products and services, and to read news, weather and sports information. The report is based on data from the bureau's October 2003 Current Population Survey, the country's primary source of labor statistics. It is the bureau's latest information on computer and Internet use, though it is two years old and experts say Americans' computer habits are quickly evolving." -
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"Nearly 1.5 million babies, a record, were born to unmarried women in the United States last year, the government reported October 28, 2005. And it isn't just teenagers any more. 'People have the impression that teens and unmarried mothers are synonymous,' said Stephanie Ventura of the National Center for Health Statistics. But last year teens accounted for just 24 percent of unwed births, down from 50 percent in 1970, she commented. The increases in unmarried births have been among women in their 20s, she said, particularly those 25 to 29. Many of the women in that age group are living with partners but still count as unmarried mothers if they haven't formally married, Ventura noted." -
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"If you do banking over the Internet, generally the drill is pretty simple: You enter your user name and password, and away you go. But behind the scenes, the bank can do a lot to check you out: Are you at your home computer, or at one with an Internet address that, strangely, is registered overseas? Are you logging on at an unusual time of day, or from a super-fast connection when normally you have dial-up? This kind of analysis is one example of the layers that bank Web sites will be adding by the end of 2006 to meet new demands from federal regulators for "two-factor" authentication. That essentially means checking something more than just user name and password to verify a customer's identity. 'Phishers' and other Internet fraud artists have become adept at stealing passwords, mainly through 'social engineering.' Preying on people's propensity to believe something seemingly authoritative, criminals send authentic-looking e-mails that send unsuspecting people to an authentic-looking Web site where they give away their data."
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"People who suffer from restless leg syndrome (RLS) often have debilitating psychiatric disorders, including depression and anxiety, investigators reported today at big medical convention in Montreal. At a news conference during the annual meeting of the American College of Chest Physicians, Dr. Barbara Phillips of the University of Kentucky at Lexington presented results of the annual sleep poll conducted by the National Sleep Foundation. Phillips is president of the Foundation. Researchers conducted a telephone survey of some 1,500 randomly selected adults aged 18 and older. Their average age was 49. Symptoms of RLS were reported by 9.7 percent of the participants - 8 percent of all men and 11 percent of all women." -
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"Pluto has three moons, not one, new images from the Hubble Space Telescope suggest. Pluto, discovered as the ninth planet in 1930, was thought to be alone until its moon Charon was spotted in 1978. The new moons, more than twice as far away as Charon and many times fainter, were spotted by Hubble in May. While the observations have to be confirmed, members of the team that discovered the satellites said Monday they felt confident about their data. 'Pluto and Charon are not alone, they have two neighbors,' said Hal Weaver of the Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory."
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|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
November 10, 2005
Hidden Corrosion
Today's Message is from Joe Coury (a Houston Albemarle employee).
|---------------------- SFTH --------------------|
What can you do to detect or prevent hidden corrosion?

(1) Know what structures and equipment in your process have the potential for under insulation corrosion.

(2) Check low points where moisture might accumulate.

(3) Be aware of and look for the signs of hidden corrosion -- rust stains or discoloring -- bulges, blisters or bubbles -- small leaks, drips or wisps of vapor or odors.

(4) Inspect and look, but don't touch -- if you disturb a severely corroded area, a leak may occur.

(5) Plan inspections and, when necessary, shut down systems before removing corrosion.

|---------------------- SFTH --------------------|
November 8, 2005
Safety Short ? End of Daylight Savings Time ? Fall '05

It's that time of year again ? time for us to hold onto precious daylight. Listed below are a few tips in an effort to keep you and your loved ones safe during this time of 'transition'?

Driving:
Driving is more dangerous this time of year due to less visibility, driver fatigue, and more drunk drivers. As a general rule of thumb, don't stare at oncoming lights. Death rates per mile traveled are 4x higher at night than during the day Don't rush ? slow down! At 50 MPH, braking alone takes 158 feet of the 160 feet illuminated by your low beams. That leaves 0' of reaction time! Eat light meals to ward-off fatigue and feeling tired

Home:
Your home's heating system is the prime cause of fires. Clean your heating system filters regularly, & check monthly during heating season Have your chimney/vent inspected before the heating season. They should be checked periodically, as 'critters' may have built nests there! Be sure to check your smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors ? make sure they work properly and have fresh batteries. Remember that when you have a fire, there is NO TIME TO REACT! Most fires occur between the hours of 2 AM and 6 AM.

General Safety:
Be aware of your surroundings ? keep your head up, and walk with a purpose. If possible, travel with a companion(s). When walking at night, wear reflective clothing and/or shoes (incl. vests, hats, etc.) As for pets, keep them away from vehicles that may leak antifreeze. Also, check Fido's paws after walking in the winter months. Salt tends to dry out and crack their pads.

|---------------------- SFTH --------------------|
November 8, 2005
Clearing Up Flu Misconceptions
by Rich Maloof for MSN Health & Fitness

With annual vaccines becoming widely available as of Oct. 24, we realize there is a surprising amount of bad information about flu vaccines in circulation and a degree of good advice is simply not taken. For the record:

Flu vaccines do not cause flu. Sometimes side effects will mimic influenza symptoms, but you can't get the virus from the vaccine.

Don't wait to see if it's a bad flu year. The severity of the virus cannot be predicted from one year to the next. Get vaccinated--especially if you're in a high-risk group.

The nasal-spray vaccine is an excellent option. Many researchers believe it is equal to, if not superior to, the flu injection. Some groups of people--under 5, over 49 and pregnant women--should not take it. Also note that it can be a little more expensive than the injection.

Vaccines are not perfect. You may still get sick with the flu after a shot, but chances are you will have a much less severe case than if you received no vaccine.

Do not get the flu vaccine if-- you are allergic to chicken eggs (which are used in vaccine production); if you've had an allergic reaction to the flu shot before; if you've had Guillain-Barré syndrome within six weeks of a prior vaccination; or if you have a fever. When in doubt, consult your doctor.

Your mother was right! During flu season, wash your hands regularly. Steer clear of large groups in close quarters and avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth.

http://articles.health.msn.com/id/100111102

|---------------------- SFTH --------------------|
November 7, 2005
Wrong Assumption
Today's Message is from Jerry Runk (a Houston Albemarle employee).

How much do you assume when you're behind the wheel? From the October 26th edition of the Pasadena Citizen:

Three victims from a truck and a victim from a car were taken to local hospitals Monday afternoon after an accident at the intersection of the westbound feeder road of State Highway 225 and Shaver Street. Pasadena police said the driver of the car said she was stopped at a red light and saw the eastbound traffic light turn green. She ASSUMED the traffic light on the westbound side had also turned green. When she went into the intersection she was struck by a truck traveling west. The truck still had a green light at the intersection.

Pasadena volunteer firefighters used hydraulic tools to extricate the driver of the car. The driver of the car was taken by helicopter to hospital. The driver and two other passengers in the pickup truck which struck the driver's side door of the car were transported by ambulances to local hospitals. The light has a delay between the west and westbound lanes to allow for the progression of traffic according to studies after traffic surveys were conducted, said Rebecca Becerra, a spokesperson for the city of Pasadena. The conditions of the victims were unknown at press time.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 23 -- 08 Nov 2005
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html

+---------------------------------------+

TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPIC: Remote Access / Backup Power

What would you do if there was a file on your PC that you really needed, but you were 1000 miles away? And how do you configure your office so your computer is immune to power outages? Read on!

---------------
Remote Access
---------------

I carry a laptop when I travel, and I used to worry about forgetting to copy some important file from my desktop machine to the laptop. I'd be in Reno or Dallas, but that darned spreadsheet file and the passwords to my online accounts were on my home computer, 90 minutes north of NYC.

It was very frustrating, but I found a solution. Now I just find the closest Internet connection, log in to my home computer and I can access it remotely, just as if I was sitting right in front of it. Find out how I do this without spending a dime:
http://www.askbobrankin.com/remote_access_to_your_computer.html

-------------------
URL, Interrupted?
-------------------

During a recent electrical storm, there was a power outage at Tourbus World Headquarters for about 15 minutes. The lights went out, but my computer and internet connection stayed on without missing a beat. I was able to make phone calls, send & receive emails, and browse the web while my neighbors were all cursing the darkness.

My secret: an Uninterruptible Power Supply. Find out how they work, what features you need, and one thing you should NEVER plug into a UPS device.
http://www.askbobrankin.com/get_an_uninterruptible_power_supply.html

---------------------------------------------
Web Moments That Changed the World (or not)
---------------------------------------------

The folks at the Webby Awards are celebrating their 10th anniversary by compiling a list of 10 Web Moments That Changed the World. Some of them I agree are significant, others are ho-hum. And certainly there are some biggies missing from the list. Here are the top five on their list:

- The Dotcom Boom and Bust (1995-2001)
- The Drudge Report Breaks Lewinsky Scandal (1998)
- Amazon's Jeff Bezos Named Time's Man of the Year (December 1999)
- Elections Worldwide (2004)
- September 11th (2001)

Read my commentary on all ten items, see what I would add to the list, and post your own Top Web Moments ideas, here:

http://www.askbobrankin.com/web_moments_that_changed_the_world.html

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The Next Best Thing
---------------------

Linda from Marlinton, West Virginia recently wrote and said "The next best thing to Tourbus is the Smart Computing magazine that you guys recommend. I've been getting it since last summer and it has solved numerous problems for me and my friends." Thanks, Linda!

We hope other Tourbus riders will discover the Plain English answers to their computing questions that Smart Computing delivers every month. Do you want to speed up your PC? Eliminate the threat of computer viruses? Get rid of spyware and keep hackers out? Try Smart Computing today -- get your FREE TRIAL issue NOW!

http://www.tourbus.com/smart.htm

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That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin

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Volume 10, Number 67 -- 5 July 2005
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TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPIC: The Internet Public Library

Way back in 1995 September 1995, the TOURBUS stopped for a visit to IPL - The Internet Public Library. Since the IPL is celebrating its 10th anniversary, we're going to stop by again and see what's new...

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What is the Internet Public Library?
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The IPL is an online library of and for the Internet community. It's an experiment to discover the unique hybrid of librarianship and the Internet. It's mission is to provide services and information which enhance the value of the Internet to its varied community of users. You can find it online here:

IPL - http://ipl.sils.umich.edu

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Welcome to the IPL Lobby
--------------------------

Every good library has a lobby - a place where one can comtemplate the riches the lie just beyond the uhh... lobby. In the small town where I live, the lobby is better known as "the hallway". While in this hallowed place, you can wipe your feet on the fraying rug, visit the bathroom or proceed to the library proper.

The Lobby at the Internet Public Library is kind of the same, except they don't have a rug or a bathroom. But let's see what we can find here to make up for the lack of these amenities.

>From the Lobby, you can access the following divisions of the IPL:

- Subject Collections (Arts, Business, Education, Science, etc.)
- Ready Reference (Almanacs, Calendars, Dictionaries)
- Reading Room (Books, Magazines & Newspapers)
- KidSpace and TeenSpace
- Searching Tools

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The Subject Collections
-------------------------

Let's take a peek at some of the subject collections, which have links to selected documents which the IPL Reference Staff has found to be of high quality and content. You can find information on:

Business, Computers, Education, Entertainment, Government, Health, Government, Science and more.

IPL Collections - http://ipl.sils.umich.edu/div/subject/

You can also search each collection by keywords. I checked out the Computer section and found the "Free Online Dictionary of Computing". In the words of its creator: "The FOLDOC is a searchable dictionary of acronyms, jargon, programming languages, tools, architectures, operating systems, networking, theory, mathematics, telecomms, institutions, companies, projects, history, in fact anything to do with computing." Yes, but does it come with free steak knives?

FOLDOC - http://foldoc.doc.ic.ac.uk/foldoc/index.html

OK, let's try a search on "national anthem etiquette". Hmmm, 1343 hits to explore, a bit overwhelming. How about "astronomy"? That's better, just 73 hits. From here, you can check out "The Astronomy Cafe" or "StarDate Online" at your leisure.

If you get stuck, you can even send a question to the IPL staff by filling out a form at the Contact Us link. But you should read the submission guidelines before sending questions. They probably won't be able to help you with your calculus homework.

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Kids Only
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Alright, we're checking ID here. But this time you have to be UNDER 21 to get in, or at least lie about your age - which is pretty easy to do in cyberspace.

IPL KidSpace - http://ipl.sils.umich.edu/div/kidspace/

You'll find Culture Quest, Story Hour, Science Fair project ideas, a Learning HTML guide, and special Subject Collections with links to materials on Computers, Nutrition, Math & Science, Art, Music and Sports -- all selected to be age-appropriate for pre-teens.

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Read Any Good Books Lately?
-----------------------------

No? Then by all means pop into Reading Room at the IPL. The reading room contains links you can browse for hours of online reading.

IPL Reading Room - http://ipl.sils.umich.edu/div/reading/

Visit the Shakespeare shelf, or check into the various catalogs of online books, such as:

* Alex: A Catalogue of Electronic Texts on the Internet
http://www.infomotions.com/alex/

* The English Server Drama Collection
http://eserver.org/drama/

* The Internet Classics Archive
http://classics.mit.edu/

That should keep you in digital ink for a while.

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Mea Gulpa
-----------

Patrick wishes to pass along these comments: "In our last edition, I jokingly wrote that my department, the Faculty Technology Center, is now part of the University Library. So I guess that makes me a librarian. As several alert Tourbus riders have pointed out,

just because your org chart has shifted, placing your department under Library oversight, doesn't mean you're now a librarian. If you were a janitor at NASA would you claim you're an astronaut?

"I apologize. I am not a librarian. I have nothing but the utmost respect for librarians and the years of schooling that librarians must complete in order to earn that important and respected title. In trying to go for a quick laugh, I accidentally offended the hardest working and most overlooked people in our schools: REAL librarians.

"On a unrelated topic, now that my name has been successfully destroyed on the surface of Comet Tempel 1, I am proud to announce that I am now an astronaut."

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==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
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OMD Offers Quick and Easy Way To File Indecency Complaints To FCC

As a service to our supporters, OneMillionDads.com is now offering a very quick and easy way for you to file a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission concerning indecency on television.

The FCC is encouraging viewers to contact them concerning indecency on TV. The form is real simple and requires little time to complete and email to the FCC.

We encourage you, when you see something indecent, obscene or profane, to take advantage of this new service.

You can file your complaint by clicking on the television graphic on the top left hand side of our main website at www.afa.net. This form will be active 24/7 and will always be on the front page of www.afa.net.

OneMillionDads.com has worked long and hard in encouraging the FCC to make it easier for you to file a complaint. We hope you will use this form and encourage others to use it.

We encourage you to ask your church to put the following notice in their bulletins and newsletters: "TV viewers now have a quick and easy way to file a complaint with the FCC concerning obscene, indecent, and profane content on television and radio. Simply click the television graphic on the top left hand side of the website at www.afa.net. There is no charge, and filing your complaint takes only a few minutes."

Sincerely,

Donald E. Wildmon, Chairman
OneMillionDads.com
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WE ALL NEED A TREE OUT SIDE OUR DOOR

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job: a flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric drill quit and his ancient one ton truck refused to start.
While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands.
When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.
Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.
"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children... So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again."
"Funny thing is," he smiled," when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

Thanks to David Lamb
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D E A T H ~ WHAT A WONDERFUL
WAY TO EXPLAIN IT

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was ins ide. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough."

May today there be peace within you. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly

Thanks to Julie Morris
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Keep Your Fork
There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.
Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. "There's one more thing," she said excitedly.
"What's that?" came the pastor's reply.
"This is very important," the young woman continued.
"I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."
The pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.
"That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked.
"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor.
The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from there on out, I have always done so. I have also, always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement.
'In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming ... like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!' So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?". Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork ... the best is yet to come." The pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye.
He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did.
She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.
At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand.
Over and over, the pastor heard the question "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled.
During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her.
The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.
He was right.
So the next time you reach down for your fork, let it remind you ever so gently, that the best is yet to come.
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.
Show your friends how much you care. Remember to always be there for them, even when you need them more. For you never know when it may be their time to "Keep your fork."
Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share .. being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility.
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND even if it means sending back to the person who sent it to you. And keep your fork.

Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Thanks to Anita McNatt
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TGIF-Today God Is First


Receiving Only From God
by Os Hillman, November 11, 2005
I will accept nothing but what my men have eaten and the share that belongs to the men who went with me-to Aner, Eshcol and Mamre. Let them have their share. - Genesis 14:24

Abraham's nephew was a man named Lot. Lot was part of Abraham's household until the land on which they fed their flocks could no longer support their growing families and herds. Abraham allowed Lot to choose the land where he wanted to live. Lot chose the land of Sodom.

Afterwards, four kings invaded Sodom, and Lot's family and goods were taken into captivity. When Abraham learned of this, he immediately gathered his best fighting men and pursued the armies to free Lot and his family. He was successful in freeing Lot's family and the families of Sodom. The king of Sodom was grateful to Abraham for what he did and wanted him to keep the goods he recovered. Abraham had made a decision before the battle that he would only keep what he recovered for his nephew Lot, and goods as payment for the men who fought.

Abraham understood the principle of receiving from God. He was a man with great integrity in God. He did not want to be known as someone who became wealthy because of the kindness of a wicked king. He wanted others to know that whatever prosperity he gained was a result of the blessing from God's hand alone. Abraham understood an important principle of receiving from God.

Jesus also modeled this principle by receiving only what His Father wanted Him to receive. God's will for Jesus was to receive based on a carpenter's wage even though He was the God of the universe who had access to all things. Imagine the discipline Jesus had to have, knowing what He could have had. He upheld His own financial integrity in God.

Each of us must discern what comes from the hand of God rather than the hand of man. As workplace believers, there are situations that allow us to manipulate, sweat, and toil our way to profit. There is also profit as a result of hard work done in obedience to our calling to the workplace. Knowing the difference in these two concepts is a sign of integrity before God. Only God receives glory when we receive what God wants us to receive. Are you receiving the fruit of your labor in God? Ask God to show you the difference of these two concepts for your own life.

-=+=-

How God Makes Fishermen
by Os Hillman, November 10, 2005
"Come, follow Me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." - Matthew 4:19

Our calling has three distinct stages, which we can see in the lives of many called before us, to become mature fishers of men who greatly impact God's Kingdom. First, there is the gestation period. This is the development stage of our lives. It may involve years of normal work experiences. You may be a Christian during this time, or you may be following after worldly success as a non-Christian. Paul spent years in religious and political training, persecuting believers most of his early life. Moses spent years in the court of Pharaoh and 40 years tending flocks in the desert. Jesus spent 33 years living at home and working in His father's carpentry business. However, all these years were part of their preparation.

Next is the crisis stage. Sooner or later, God calls you into relationship with Him. For many, like Paul, it comes through dramatic encounters like being knocked off a horse, blinded and spoken to personally by God. Some people are more difficult than others to reach and so require this level of crisis. This is a time when God requires major changes so that you follow Him fully. It can be a time in which God harnesses years of experience for a new life purpose. Paul's earthly experiences would be used in his calling to the religious and political leaders of his day. For Moses, the burning bush experience would begin his journey in which he would discover his ultimate calling after years of preparation. For Peter, it was his denial of Jesus three times that allowed him to face his shallow commitment to Christ. For Jesus, it was the cross. These were the benchmark turning points for men who made an impact on their world.

Last is the fruit-bearing stage. In it, God's power is manifested in your life like never before. God takes all your experiences and uses them to build His Kingdom in and through your life. Your obedience to this final call results in fruitfulness you could never imagine without the long preparation process. For Abraham, it resulted in becoming the father of many nations. For Paul, it resulted in bringing the gospel to the Gentiles. And for Peter, it meant becoming the rock the Church was built on. For Jesus, it was salvation for the entire world.

What does God want to achieve through your life? God has a plan that is so incredible you cannot comprehend it. It requires only that you love Him and follow Him. Then you will become fishers of men like the world has never known.

-=+=-

God's Proving Ground for Faith
by Os Hillman, November 9, 2005
He did this only to teach warfare to the descendants of the Israelites who had not had previous battle experience. - Judges 3:2

God brought the nation of Israel into the Promised Land of Canaan through Joshua. After Joshua, there came an entire generation who had very little experience in fighting battles like the ones fought by Joshua. Training and testing God's people is one of God's important strategies that enable His children to succeed in spiritual warfare. This is why we do not live a life free of trials. These trials are sent specifically to see if our faith is real or simply empty words.

"They were left to test the Israelites to see whether they would obey the Lord's commands, which He had given their forefathers through Moses" (Judg. 3:4). God allows circumstances to develop around your life to give your faith opportunity to be proven. It is only when we are tested in battle that we become skilled warriors. You can be confident God will allow trials to come your way through situations like an unreasonable boss, a client who refuses to pay, a false assault on your character, or a difficult relationship that requires unconditional love. These battles are sent your way to test what you know in the mind in order that they might become part of your heart.

You will discover if you have passed the tests or if you need more battles that will give you the opportunity to learn the art of spiritual warfare. Do not fear these battles that are before you. God has already given you the victory if you choose complete dependence and obedience to Him. Then you will become one of God's greatest warriors, skilled in spiritual warfare.

-=+=-

Hindrances to Christ's Rule
by Os Hillman, November 8, 2005
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. - 2 Corinthians 10:4

The Bible says when Christ comes to live in your heart, old things are passed away, all things become new (see 2 Cor. 5:17). The Lord has put a new Spirit in us. Previously, I could not understand why so many of us who proclaimed Christ had such little impact on the kingdom of darkness. It seemed to me that our culture should be impacted much more if His children walked in the light as Jesus did. Jesus impacted His culture like no other man.

I saw many workplace believers, who proclaimed Christ, living no differently than a person who had not claimed Him as Lord. These men and women had a form of religion, but little power that reflected Christ's rule in their lives. Then one day God took me through a time of testing that led to a discovery of generational influences that impacted the way I viewed people and circumstances on a subconscious basis. I discovered this was a stronghold that had been implanted many generations earlier. Because the stronghold operated on a subconscious level, it was not easily recognizable. Strongholds keep us from being free to reflect Christ in and through our lives because they require allegiance until they are dealt with. Strongholds can often be so hidden that we would not even identify them as evil. A stronghold of fear, control, rebellion, insecurity, idolatry, pride, or bitterness may be hidden until it is revealed through circumstances.

All strongholds are built in our lives as a result of seeking to meet one or more of seven basic needs God has created in us. Once we believe a lie that God cannot meet a need without our effort, we open our spirit to a stronghold. The more lies we believe, the more we invite these strongholds to take root in our lives.

Are you ineffective in your Christian experience? Are there besetting sins that seem to recur in your life? You may find that satan has built a fortress in your heart that has been there many generations. You must ask God's forgiveness for entertaining this stronghold, and you must renounce it. Then as Christ renews your mind and heart, you will see Christ's power released in your life like never before.

-=+=-

The Value of Hard Places
by Os Hillman, November 7, 2005

So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. - 2 Corinthians 4:12

Being forced into hard places gives us a whole new perspective on life. Things we once valued no longer hold the same value. Small things become big things, and what we once thought big no longer holds such importance.

These hard places allow us to identify with the sufferings of others. It keeps us from having a shallow view of the hardships of others and allows us to truly identify with them. Those who speak of such trials from no experience often judge others who have had such hardship. It is a superficiality of Christian experience that often permeates shallow believers.

Those who have walked in hard places immediately have a kinship with others who have walked there also. They do not need to explain; they merely look at one another with mutual respect and admiration for their common experience. They know that death has worked a special thing in them. This death leads to life in others because of the hard places God has taken them through.

It is impossible to appreciate any valley experience while you are in it. However, once you have reached the top of the mountain, you are able to appreciate what terrain you have passed through. You marvel at what you were able to walk through. The valley of the shadow of death has yielded more than you ever thought possible. You are able to appreciate the beauty of the experience and lay aside the sorrow and pain it may have produced.

Death works in you for a greater purpose. If you are there today, be assured that God is producing something of much greater value than you will ever know.

-=+=-

Divine Setups
by Os Hillman, November 6, 2005

Simon, Simon, satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers. - Luke 22:31-32

Have you ever perceived yourself to be at one place spiritually only to discover that you were actually far from this place? Peter perceived himself to be so spiritually strong that he was prepared to suffer greatly for his Master. Yet Jesus knew where Peter really was in his own pilgrimage. He knew that Peter's enthusiasm did not match his reality. He was suffering from an attitude of self-righteousness. So, how did Jesus help Peter match his perception to his reality? Peter was the object of a divine setup.

First, notice that satan asked permission to sift Peter as wheat. Jesus determined that satan would be used to bring Peter to the maturity level both Jesus and Peter really desired. And Jesus was praying that Peter would pass the test. Jesus told Peter that he would deny Him three times that very day. Peter could not believe what Jesus was saying.

Sometimes the lessons we must learn are very painful. This experience was necessary in Peter's life. It was necessary to purge Peter from his sin of self-righteousness. This very lesson would allow Peter to come face to face with his own misperception of where he was in his relationship and devotion to Jesus. When he was forced to confront this, it nearly broke him apart. He wept bitterly once he realized he had done just as Jesus had predicted.

This confrontation with reality is necessary at times in our lives. Do not be surprised if Jesus allows you to experience some painful circumstance. You may be the subject of a divine setup designed to bring you to a greater maturity level in your walk with Jesus. It may not be a fun experience when you go through it, but you will, like Peter, become a leader whom God will use to lead others.

-=+=-

Share TGIF With A Friend - - http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/pages.asp?pageid=27851
Copyright 2005. www.MarketplaceLeaders.org
---------------------------------------------------
To contact Os Hillman, request reprint permission, or to book Os to speak in your town write to os@marketplaceleaders.org. Marketplace Leaders Website: http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/ Copyright 2005
--------------------------------------------------
Please recommend this TGIF daily devotional to everyone interested in applying their faith to their worklife. Tell them to subscribe at http://www.TodayGodIsFirst.com

Os Hillman Copyright 2005
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
Walkerville World Famous Fish Fry - Saturday, November 12.
~~~
Albemarle Kids' Christmas Party - Saturday, December 3, 10 am to 1 pm - SAU Skating Rink
~~~
Albemarle Christmas Party - December 6 and December 8
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. Capt. Jeffrey P. Toczylowski, 30, of Upper Moreland, Pa., died in Al Anbar Province, Iraq, on Nov. 3, from injuries sustained during combat operations. Toczylowski was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 10th Special Forces Group, Panzer Kaserne, Germany.

02. Spc. Timothy D. Brown, 23, of Cedar Springs, Mich., died in Habbaniyah, Iraq, on Nov. 4, when a land mine detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Brown was assigned to the Army National Guard's 1st Battalion, 125th Infantry Regiment, Saginaw, Mich.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Nov. 4, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during convoy operations. The soldiers were assigned to the 26th Forward Support Battalion, 2nd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.
Killed were:
03. Capt. James M. Gurbisz, 25, of Eatontown, N.J.
04. Pfc. Dustin A. Yancey, 22, of Goose Creek, S.C.

05. Spc. Darren D. Howe, 21, of Beatrice, Neb., died at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas, on Nov. 3, of injuries sustained in Samarra, Iraq, on Oct. 17, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his Bradley Fighting Vehicle. Howe was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 15th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Benning, Ga.

06. Lt. Col. Thomas A. Wren, 44, of Lorton, Va., died in Tallil, Iraq, on Nov. 5, when a civilian vehicle pulled in front of his HMMWV causing it to roll-over. Wren was an Army Reservist assigned to the Multi-National Security Transition Command-Iraq in Tallil, Iraq.

07. Staff Sgt. Jason A. Fegler, 24, of Virginia Beach, Va., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Nov. 4, during combat operations. Fegler was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.

08. Sgt. 1st Class James F. Hayes, 48, of Barstow, Calif., died in Taji, Iraq, on Nov. 6, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during patrol operations. Hayes was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 320th Field Artillery Regiment, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.

09. Lance Cpl. Ryan J. Sorensen, 26, of Boca Raton, Fla., died Nov. 6 from enemy small-arms fire while conducting combat operations during Operation Steel Curtain in Husaybah, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

10. Capt. Joel E. Cahill, 34, of Norwood, Mass., died in Ad Dawr, Iraq, on Nov. 6, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Cahill was assigned to the Army's 1st Battalion, 15th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Benning, Ga.

The Department of Defense announced the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Nov. 7, when a vehicle-borne improvised explosive device detonated near their dismounted patrol. The soldiers were assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, Fort Carson, Colo. Killed were:
11. 1st Lt. Justin S. Smith, 28, of Lansing, Mich.
12. Staff Sgt. Brian L. Freeman, 27, of Lucedale, Miss.
13. Spc. Robert C. Pope II, 22, of East Islip, N.Y.
14. Pfc. Mario A. Reyes, 19, of Las Cruces, N.M.

15. Gunnery Sgt. Darrell W. Boatman, 38, of Fayetteville, N.C., died on Nov. 4 at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Germany, from wounds sustained on Nov. 2 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations in the vicinity of Habbaniyah, Iraq. He was assigned to 8th Engineer Support Battalion, 2nd Marine Logistics Group, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
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TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"Fight till you win!" - - Mark Brazee
"Bring 'em on!" - -President George W. Bush
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - - Margaret Mead
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Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Jude 1:3-4 Titus 2:11-14 Est 9:20-22 Acts 9:39-41 Psa 116:17-18
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

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