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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Awareness Test
Volume 7, Issue 41
Hello All,
It’s been a busy week with EMS training and other work activities. Throw in a work seminar on diet and exercise and we’re done.
The seminar did have a couple of interesting points. You can multiply your weight by 10 to get the number of calories you should eat per day to maintain your weight. (Up that factor to 15 or 20 if you’re more active than the typical couch potato.) If you want to lose weight, knock 500 calories per day off your diet and you’ll lose a pound a week.
They also gave us pedometers to see if we walked the recommended 10,000 steps per day. Annette and I are now in competition to see who walks the most each day. “She won Wednesday and I won Thursday.”
~~~~~
"Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit" is GREAT! We took our grandkids as well as Kelly and Robert’s kids last Saturday and had a truly GREAT time. When this one comes out on DVD we’ll have to get it.
~~~~~
The World Health Organization announced that they would try again next year to eradicate Polio. Nigeria has suffered a severe outbreak after it’s citizens fell prey to rumors that the vaccine was a western plot to sterilize Moslem populations.
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Meanwhile, back here in the United States, four children in an Amish community in Minnesota have contracted the poliovirus the first known infections in the U.S. in five years, state health officials said Thursday.
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The Magnolia Lions Club will be serving a barbeque take-out supper on Tuesday, October 18 from 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. The meal will consist of ½ chicken, baked potato, coleslaw, and bread for $5.00. Meals are to be picked up at the Brookshire's parking lot. Please contact Billie Dadgar (ext. 6185, or 234-7080) for tickets.
~~~~~
Annette and I have been enjoying the BBC series “BallyKissAngel”. I’ve put all the available episodes on our NetFlix Queue (http://www.netflix.com). It’s a good dramatic comedy about an English Priest in an Irish village.
~~~~~
Don't forget. The Steak and Bingo Dinner has been Rescheduled to Saturday October 22
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http://lava.nationalgeographic.com/pod/
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Don't forget ... "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular Mid Premium Diesel
Current Avg. $22.81 $2.99 $3.10 $3.18
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - Basic Waffle - - Alton Brown, 2005 - - Good Eats - - The Waffle Truth
Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Yield: approximately 6 (8-inch round) waffles
4 3/4 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 1 cup
4 3/4 ounces whole-wheat flour, approximately 1 cup
½ teaspoon baking soda
1-teaspoon baking powder
1-teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons sugar
3 whole eggs, beaten
2 ounces unsalted butter, melted
16 ounces buttermilk, room temperature
Vegetable spray, for waffle iron
Preheat waffle iron according to manufacturer's directions.
In a medium bowl whisk together the flours, soda, baking powder, salt, and sugar. In another bowl beat together eggs and melted butter, and then add the buttermilk. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir until combined. Allow to rest for 5 minutes.
Ladle the recommended amount of waffle batter onto the iron according to the manufacturer's recommendations. Close iron top and cook until the waffle is golden on both sides and is easily removed from iron. Serve immediately or keep warm in a 200 degree F oven until ready to serve.
~~
Chocolate Waffle
Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Yield: approximately 6 (8-inch round) waffles
7 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 1-½ cups
1 3/4 ounces sugar, approximately 3 tablespoons
1.5 ounces cocoa powder, approximately ½ cup
1-teaspoon baking powder
1-teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon baking soda
3 whole eggs, beaten
2 ounces unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
1-teaspoon pure vanilla extract
16 ounces buttermilk, room temperature
4 ounces chocolate chips, approximately 3/4 cup
Vegetable spray, for waffle iron
Preheat waffle iron according to manufacturer's directions.
In a medium bowl whisk together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, salt, and baking soda. In another bowl beat together the eggs and melted butter and vanilla, and then add the buttermilk. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir in the chocolate chips just until combined. Allow to rest for 5 minutes.
Ladle the recommended amount of waffle batter onto the center of the iron. Close the iron top and cook until the waffle is crispy on both sides and is easily removed from iron. Serve immediately or keep warm in a 200 degree F oven until ready to serve.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_32037,00.html
~~~~~
The Taylor Elementary School will be having a BBQ Dinner Fundraiser on Saturday, October 29, from 6-8 p.m. Dinners will be dine-in or take out at the Taylor Cafeteria and will be $6.00 each.
BBQ, Potato Salad, Baked Beans, Bread, Dessert, Drink
Please contact Joel McMahen at the West Plant or Brian Taylor (6358) at the South Plant.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
Extraordinary Lengths
Religious Rights of Gitmo Prisoners
October 14, 2005
Note: This commentary was delivered by Prison Fellowship President Mark Earley.
Recently, I attended a Defense Department briefing for religious leaders. One of the topics was religious rights for captured military combatants being held at Guantanamo. The attendees included prominent members of the Christian, Jewish, and Muslim faiths. During the question-and-answer session, one of the imams spoke up. “We still hear cases of the Koran being desecrated,” he said. “What are you doing about it?”
That’s when I spoke up. I pointed out that there was no credible evidence that Koran desecration was taking place at Gitmo. In fact, the opposite is true: An investigation by a task force revealed a consistent, documented policy of respectful handling of the Koran stretching back more than two years. And I could not help reminding the imams that Muslim prisoners are being far better treated at Gitmo than they are in prisons in Muslim countries.
While everything at Gitmo has not been perfect, the fact is, those who guard Muslims at Gitmo are rigorously taught to respect the religious sensibilities and provide for the faith of those they guard. For example, since January 2002, prisoners have been issued more than 1,600 Korans in thirteen different languages. Guards are taught not to touch the Koran. If they wish to inspect it, they must ask detainees to present the Koran for visual inspection, or—if the prisoner refuses—a Muslim chaplain inspects it.
Our military also provides prayer rugs to all detainees who comply with camp rules. Calls to prayer are announced five times daily over the public address system. Hundreds of arrows are painted throughout the camp pointing to Mecca for ease of Muslim prayer. Detainees are allowed to preach without interference from the guards, and prisoner meals are cooked in strict accordance with Islamic guidelines.
In short, the U.S. military is going to extraordinary and unprecedented lengths to provide for the faith of these prisoners. The irony is that we are protecting and providing for the religious rights of Gitmo detainees far better than we do the religious rights of American prisoners of any and all faiths—inmates who are serving their sentences all over the United States.
For instance, Christians who are sent to prison in the United States are not given Bibles from prison authorities; if they want one, somebody has to donate it to the prison chaplain. Prisons often forbid Bible study groups from gathering because such gatherings violate protocols having to do with gangs. Jewish inmates have on occasion been prohibited from wearing yarmulkes. And in American prisons, no arrows point Muslims toward Mecca, and they have no say over how Korans are handled.
The question is: Why are we not willing to offer the same respect for American prisoners as we do non-American citizens?
Those who would ignore or deny these rights forget the great influence faith has in transforming the hearts of criminals. Anyone who cares about reducing the crime rate ought to make certain that the religious rights of inmates in his or her own community are well guarded.
It’s a measure of how much Americans value religious freedom that the U.S. military is willing to honor the religious sensibilities even of those who are locked up for trying to kill our citizens. How much more, then, should we protect the religious rights of our own citizens in our own prisons—most of whom will one day be released and live among us?
For further reading and information:
Spend a year studying with Chuck Colson: Learn how to identify, advocate, and apply biblical truth in every arena of life. Apply for the 2006 Centurions Program. The deadline is November 15.
Letta Tayler, “Behind barbed wire at Guantanamo,” Newsday, 2 October 2005.
“U.S. Investigating Allegations of Quran Desecration at Guantanamo,” U.S. Department of State, 11 May 2005.
Mark Bowden, “The Dark Art of Interrogation,” Atlantic Monthly, October 2003.
BreakPoint Commentary No. 050224, “Outsourcing Evil: Torture and Two Cities.”
BreakPoint Commentary No. 050114, “Give Me That Old-Time Religion—or Else: Protecting Religious Freedom.”
BreakPoint Commentary No. 030110, “The Fruit of Religious Experience: William James’s Testimony to Faith in Action.”
http://www.pfm.org//AM/Template.cfm?Section=BreakPoint1
The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
onus: burden; also, blame; stigma.
abstemious: temperate; abstinent; refraining from indulgence.
cant: empty, solemn speech.
laconic: using or marked by the use of a minimum of words.
palpable: plain; distinct; obvious.
gewgaw: a trinket; a bauble.
conurbation: an aggregation or continuous network of urban communities.
sinecure: an office or position that involves little work or responsibility.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Books are the bees which carry the quickening pollen from one to another mind." - James Russell Lowell
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult." - Seneca
"Secrecy, being an instrument of conspiracy, ought never to be the system of a regular government." - Jeremy Bentham
"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers." - Thomas Pynchon
"To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts." - Henry David Thoreau
"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted." - Aldous Huxley
"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot
"We pass the word around; we ponder how the case is put by different people, we read the poetry; we meditate over the literature; we play the music; we change our minds; we reach an understanding. Society evolves this way, not by shouting each other down, but by the unique capacity of unique, individual human beings to comprehend each other." - Lewis Thomas
~~~~~
2009 Likely to Be Digital TV Deadline
Oct 14, 9:06 PM (ET)
By JENNIFER C. KERR
WASHINGTON (AP) - Congress is zeroing in on early 2009 as the time for the country to make the switch to digital television broadcasts, a move that will give viewers sharper pictures and better sound.
A Senate bill would set a firm deadline of April 2009, according to a draft proposal obtained Friday by The Associated Press. The draft of a House bill would end analog transmissions on Dec. 31, 2008.
In addition to working out a compromise on the date, lawmakers must decide whether to keep a Senate provision calling for the federal government to pay for converter boxes that would allow people who don't have or can't afford a digital TV, or cable or satellite, to continue to receive over-the-air local stations.
The Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation is expected to take up the bill Wednesday.
Current law calls for television broadcasters to switch to all-digital transmissions by late 2006, or when 85 percent of households have the ability to receive digital signals. But there's confusion about how to count the 85 percent, so Congress is stepping in to set a so-called "hard date" - requiring broadcasters to end the transmission of their traditional analog signal.
The broadcasters' move to all-digital will free up valuable radio spectrum.
Some of the frequencies were promised to public safety groups in 1997, and they've been waiting for years for the broadcasters to vacate the analog spectrum. Those channels will help improve congestion and other communications problems on the emergency radios used by fire, police and others.
Besides setting a hard date, the Senate bill would designate an undermined amount of money, possibly $1 billion, to help public safety officials buy new equipment or invest in networks that would help improve communications across their own communities and across entire regions.
The spectrum that isn't allocated for public safety will be auctioned by the government. Congressional officials estimate its value at about $10 billion.
In a letter to lawmakers on Friday, Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates and other industry leaders urged Congress to speed the transition to DTV so the auctioned spectrum could be used for wireless broadband and other services, especially in rural and poor areas. They called for the earliest possible deadline but said it should be no later than Jan. 1, 2009.
A member of the coalition that sent the letter said he wasn't disappointed that the proposed deadline in the Senate bill is April 7, 2009.
"We are not going to argue over a few months," said Ralph Helmann, senior vice president of government relations at the Information Technology Industry Council. "Having a hard date was very significant."
---
On the Net:
Senate Commerce Committee: http://commerce.senate.gov
House Energy and Commerce: http://energycommerce.house.gov
http://apnews.excite.com/article/20051015/D8D85CC08.html
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GCF: Awareness Test
Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom
To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to:
SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ Unsubscribe info for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.
En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?"
The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window.
"Oh," he replied, "I'd say about 50, maybe 55."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Socks
Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to: andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. "Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked.
Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, "I'll take them."
Relieved, I started to ring up the sale, until she interrupted me. "Can I have another pack? This one's been opened."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: New Dictionary
Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to: andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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While I was employed by a private corporation and assigned to the space-shuttle program, my job included ordering supplies. One of the engineers asked me to get a new dictionary for him. The request form said, "State reason this item is needed," so I asked him why he wanted one.
I expected his answer would be "My old copy is lost" or "The cover is falling off." Instead he replied, "My edition defines spaceship as an 'imaginary aircraft.'" He got his new dictionary.
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Wine Secret
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Joe) -Tom
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The secret to enjoying a good wine is:
1 - Open the bottle to allow it to breathe.
2 - When it does not breathe, give it mouth-to-mouth.
_ _________________________ _
GCF: Card Cover-up
Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
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A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card.
The clerk replied, "We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?"
The man said, "You don't understand. I need a card that covers *both* events! You see, we're celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife's thirty-fourth birthday..."
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( / / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ _( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Xylophataquieopiaphobia: \ /
\ _/ the fear of not pronouncing \_ /
/ / words correctly. \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / You can listen to thunder \ \_/ ////
\ / and tell how close \ /
\ _/ you came to being hit. \_ /
/ / If you don't hear it, \ you got hit, so never mind.
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / Yogurt is one of only three \ \_/ ////
\ / foods that taste \ /
\ _/ the way they sound. \_ /
/ / The other two are goulash and squid. \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Some days you are the bug. \ /
\ _/ Some days you are the windshield. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / There's a fine line between \ /
\ _/ fishing and standing on \_ /
/ / the shore looking like an idiot. \ _ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Apology to Spike
Dear Spike,
I have been unable to sleep since I forced my daughter to break off her engagement to you. Will you forgive and forget?
I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo, and pierced nose. I now realize motorcycles aren't really that dangerous, and I really should not have reacted the way I did to the fact that you have never held a job.
I am sure, too, that some other very nice people live under the bridge in the park.
Sure, my daughter is only 17 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on a full ride scholarship. After all, you can't learn everything about life from books. I sometimes forget how backward I can be. I was wrong. I was a fool. I have now come to my senses, and you have my full blessing to marry my daughter.
Sincerely,
Your future father-in-law
P. S. Congratulations on winning the Powerball lottery!
Received from Marty's Joke of the Day.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Sick Husband
A man suddenly started feeling horrible and was sent to the hospital.
The next day, the doctor had a talk with the man's wife. He said, "Your husband has been suffering from serious stress. If immediate action is not taken, he could die in a very short time."
The woman said, "What type of immediate action?"
The doctor said, "You must provide a stress-free environment in your home. For the next two weeks, make wonderful meals for him every day. Also, you must be sure that you don't nag him or stress him in any way."
On the drive home from the hospital, her husband asked, "So what's wrong with me, honey?"
The woman paused for a moment and then replied, "Sorry, honey, but you're going to die."
Received from Matt Durrant.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] What language are we speaking here?
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult -- for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased program of changes to iron out these anomalies. The program would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it kould be announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty persent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therfor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of ze Guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.
Received from Carrie Burroughs.
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[GCFL.net] Things to Do in an Elevator
Things to Do in an Elevator
1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap him on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if he has an appointment.
9) Lay down the Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask him if he can hear ticking.
11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing him occasionally.
14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15) Swat at flies that don't exist.
16) Tell people that you can see their aura.
17) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
18) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
19) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
20) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
21) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
22) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
23) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
24) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
25) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
Received from Cathy Gilstrap.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Overseas Break
A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others."
Received from Ted Toll.
(-:][:-)
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– NEW! Go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20050124 to rate this funny from 0 to 5.
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Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List "A cheerful heart is good medicine!" (Prov 17:22a) Go to http://gcfl.net/mlfrontend.php to change your subscription options or unsubscribe. To email this funny to a friend, go to http://gcfl.net/emailit.php?funny=20050107 The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://gcfl.net/latest.php
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News Item:
This morning - - from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of
Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military
action
in Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's supply of
convenience store managers. If this action does not yield sufficient
results, cab drivers will be next.
Folks, it's getting ugly.........
Thanks to Randall G. Maness
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
Today's Clean Laugh
Lost and Found
A police car pulled up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa got out. The polite policeman explained that the elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and couldn't find his way home.
"Morris," said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! How come you get lost today?"
Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear, grandpa whispered, "I wasn't lost. I was just too tired to walk home."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
"Eye Laugh"
Trailer Flat
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=156
(-:][:-)
Super Dress
Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.
As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips."
Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out. "If there is a dress here that will do that, I'll buy them all!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
"Eye Laugh"
Hairball 2
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=155
(-:][:-)
Super Dress
Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.
As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips."
Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out. "If there is a dress here that will do that, I'll buy them all!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
"Eye Laugh"
Hairball 2
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=155
(-:][:-)
Name Warning
On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver.
"Not only have you been driving too fast, you've been passing cars where it is not allowed. Your lights don't work, your tires all completely worn out. This is surely going to cost you a lot. What's your name?"
"Schtrathewisizeski Vocgefastilongchinic."
"Well, I'll let you go this time but don't do it again."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
"Eye Laugh"
Camper Deck
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=152
(-:][:-)
Bonus
Here's hoping there is no one like this at your workplace.
Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of one thousand dollars to any employee who could come up with a way of saving money.
The bonus went to a young woman in accounting who suggested limiting future bonuses to ten dollars.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
"Eye Laugh"
Can You Hear Me Now?
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=120
(-:][:-)
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Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/art_museum_visit_humor.html - - How To Visit An Art Museum "There are many good reasons to visit an art museum. Impressing a date. Vying for a slot in the cultural elite. Some people actually go because they appreciate art. If you're a novice art fan, this is how it's done:
1. Your virgin museum visit should take place while you're out of town. That way, your displays of ignorance will be witnessed only by strangers..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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The Healthy Refrigerator - - http://www.healthyfridge.org/ - - As cholesterol levels increase, most people are unaware that heart disease begins in childhood. This site is dedicated to providing heart-healthy tips for the entire family. Remember, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!
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United Nations Statistics Division - - http://unstats.un.org/unsd/default.htm - - The Statistics Division compiles statistics from many international sources and produces global updates, including the Statistical Yearbook, World Statistics Pocketbook and yearbooks in specialized fields of statistics. It also provides to countries, specifications of the best methods of compiling information so that data from different sources can be readily compared.
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Build Your Own Ideal PC - - http://www.pcworld.com/howto/article/0,aid,116993,00.asp - - Whether you're upgrading your machine or building one from scratch, this PC World Magazine article shows you how to choose the right parts and put them all together. With just a little more technical know-how than a typical upgrade requires, you can build a PC yourself from hand-picked parts. And you might even save a little money along the way.
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Columbus Day - - http://www.ibiblio.org/expo/1492.exhibit/Intro.html - - A sailor on board the Pinta sighted land early in the morning of October 12, 1492, and a new era of European exploration and expansion began. The next day, the 90 crew members of Christopher Columbus's three-ship fleet ventured onto the Bahamian island of Guanahani, ending a voyage begun nearly ten weeks earlier in Palos, Spain. This Library of Congress 'Today in History' site provides background information on Columbus Day.
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Influenza (Flu) - - http://www.cdc.gov/flu/ - - The flu is a contagious respiratory illness caused by influenza viruses. It can cause mild to severe illness, and at times can lead to death. The best way to prevent the flu is to get a flu vaccine each fall. This Flu Fact Sheet is from the National Center for Infectious Diseases of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
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The Supreme Court of the United States: Highest Court in the Land - - http://usinfo.state.gov/journals/itdhr/0405/ijde/ijde0405.htm - - This U.S. State Department site presents a collection of essays that explain how the Court functions with contributions by a number of the nation's premier legal scholars. Topics include a historical perspective on the nomination, confirmation, and appointment of justices and summaries of landmark decisions. Also includes a bibliography and links to related sites. From the U.S. Department of State. Related site: Supreme Court Nominations.
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American Photography: A Century of Images - - http://www.pbs.org/ktca/americanphotography/ - - Companion Web site to the PBS series capturing the images of a century of change and the role the camera has played both in creating and documenting it.
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How Computer Viruses Work - - http://www.howstuffworks.com/virus.htm - - Computer viruses are mysterious and grab our attention. On the one hand, viruses show us how vulnerable we are. A properly engineered virus can have an amazing effect on the worldwide Internet. This How Stuff Works site discusses viruses - both "traditional" viruses and the newer e-mail viruses - so that you can learn how they work and also understand how to protect yourself.
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"Illegal immigrants are increasing despite tighter border security and now outnumber foreigners moving to the United States legally. The Pew Hispanic Center reported Tuesday that immigration in general has been picking up, tracking the reviving American economy and improving jobs picture. 'The U.S. economy was obviously a very important factor in determining these flows,' said Roberto Suro, director of the center and a co-author of its study. Immigration - both legal and illegal - topped 1.5 million people in 1999 and 2000, according to the report. The number of people entering the United States then plummeted to 1.1 million people by 2003, the same level as in 1992. Immigration bounced back to 1.2 million in 2004, but the report cautioned that it is difficult to say whether the recent upswing is part of a new trend." -
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"There are 700,000 more millionaire households this year than in 2004, according to a survey released September 28, 2005. Households with a net worth of at least $1 million excluding primary residences rose 8 percent to a record high 8.9 million, according to an annual report by TNS Financial Services, a market research and polling firm. This is the third consecutive annual increase, although this year's growth rate is far more modest than the 33 percent increase seen in 2004. Interestingly, although the number of millionaire households grew, the averages among some of their primary investments were down. TNS found that there were fewer millionaire households who owned investment real estate this year than last, although real estate continued to be a staple in investment portfolios for many." -
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"Twelve-year-olds whose parents smoked were more than two times as likely to begin smoking cigarettes on a daily basis between the ages of 13 and 21 than were children whose parents didn't use tobacco, according to a new study that looked at family influences on smoking habits. The research indicated that parental behavior about smoking, not attitudes, is the key factor in delaying the onset of daily smoking, according to Karl Hill, director of the University of Washington's Seattle Social Development Project and an associate research professor of social work. Hill said other elements that influenced whether or not adolescents began daily smoking were consistent family monitoring and rules, family bonding or a strong emotional attachment inside the family, and parents not involving children in their own smoking behavior. The later includes such activities as asking their children to get a pack of cigarettes from the car or having them light a cigarette for the parent." -
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"More Americans than ever are strapping on their seat belts when they hop into the car. Belt use has reached a record 82 percent this year, an increase of 2 percentage points from last year, the Transportation Department said Friday. The credit goes to growing awareness of safety benefits - and a possible ticket if a police officer pulls a driver over. 'The fact that safety belts save lives is starting to click with the American people,' said Transportation Secretary Norman Y. Mineta. A state-by-state list will be released later in the year, officials said. While more vehicles are becoming equipped with technology to help reduce rollovers and avoid collisions, safety advocates still view the seat belt as the most effective tool in preventing traffic deaths." -
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"Pooled data from seven studies on diet and cancer provide weak evidence of a link between alcohol consumption and lung cancer risk -- mainly confined to men who never smoked. Although smoking is the main cause of lung cancer, not much is known about risk factors for nonsmokers, and modifying factors for smokers, Dr. Jo L. Freudenheim from the State University of New York at Buffalo and colleagues explain in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. They note that mortality due to lung cancer is high in studies of alcoholics, 'but the greater risk may be explained, in part or entirely, by the fact that the people in these populations were also more likely to smoke.' In their analyses, Freudenheim's team made every effort to separate the effect of smoking from that of alcohol on lung cancer risk." -
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"People should cut their daily salt intake to 6 grams a day -- one heaped teaspoon -- to reduce their blood pressure levels and the risk of heart disease and stroke, health experts said on October 3, 2005. A new report by Britain's Medical Research Council (MRC), which summarizes scientific evidence on the links between salt and health, said cutting salt consumption from the average 9.5 to 6 grams a day could result in a 13 percent reduction in stroke and a 10 percent decrease in heart disease. 'It was felt to be a level that brings significant health benefits,' Dr Susan Jebb, head of nutrition and health research at the MRC, told a news conference. 'It is achievable.' " -
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"Ninety percent of U.S. men and 70 percent of women eventually become overweight, meaning hardly any American will escape it unless something drastic changes, U.S. researchers said on October 3, 2005. The older they get, the more likely Americans are to put on the extra pounds that take them out of the healthy weight class and make them overweight or obese, the researchers said. 'National surveys and other studies have told us that the United States has a major weight problem, but this study suggests that we could have an even more serious degree of overweight and obesity over the next few decades,' said Dr. Elizabeth Nabel, director of the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, which paid for the study." -
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"Most seniors don't understand the new prescription-drug program being offered under Medicare and don't plan to sign up for coverage, even after months of salesmanship by the Bush administration. A USA TODAY/CNN/Gallup Poll taken last week shows 37% say they understand the program at least somewhat well, but 61% don't. Those figures haven't changed much from polls in July and August. About one in four seniors, 24%, say they plan to join the program, compared with 54% who say they don't. Twenty-two percent have no opinion. The poll of 275 adults age 65 and older has a margin of error of +/- 7 percentage points."
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|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
October 13, 2005
This message was posted in 2003 by James McClellan.
The Mine Safety and Health Administration (MSHA) has Murphy's Laws for Mines posted on it's website (www.msha.gov). James McClellan graciously adapted these laws with some good reminders for our operations - some are tongue-in-cheek - some are good safety procedure:
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Murphy's Laws for Chemical Operations Safety
If you assume something has been done, it probably has not.
If you are working on an elevated platform and you think you need a tie off, you probably do.
If a safe job procedure for a new piece of equipment or new process is not developed by the employees doing the work, someone will probably get hurt.
Anything unusual, different, or varying from the daily routine is a high percentage accident activity. Change requires careful planning and supervision.
If you write a safe work permit, and fail to communicate ALL the hazards associated with the job, you can be sure the "obvious" ones will hurt someone.
If you think you are the only person in the warehouse, and you are contemplating crossing over an idle conveyor, someone will probably start the belts at the exact time when you are on the conveyor.
If you don't bother locking and tagging, someone will likely energize it.
If you are in a plant without control room clearance, you will almost always encounter a line breaking operation (above you.)
When, for whatever reason, the emergency equipment is out of service, an emergency will often arise which requires it.
The first time any piece of electrical equipment is energized, it will usually be phased wrong.
If a thunderstorm is in the general area, all of the power will go off.
If electricians or mechanics (or anyone else) are using utility knives and cutting towards themselves, you can probably count on having a recordable injury.
Any time proper pre-op checks are not made on a piece of equipment, something is probably defective which will contribute toward an accident.
If something in the work place seems wrong and the hair stands up on the back of your neck, back out and study the situation - something probably is wrong. Fix it before proceeding.
The day when you have given a 30-minute presentation on your super maintenance software program to your company's CEO, that is the day the plant will breakdown.
All crews report that they were left in "bad shape" by the preceding shift.
Pieces of equipment that before ran perfectly, will not run when they are moved to a new location.
If a track switch is not properly aligned and gapped even slightly, some piece of rail equipment will likely split the switch and cause a wreck.
Crews that hold regular interactive safety meetings will almost always be the most productive.
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
October 12, 2005
Sleep deprivation
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Sleep is as important to the human body as food and water, but most of us don't get enough sleep. Insufficient sleep or disruptions to the sleep-wake cycle (such as those that occur with shift work or travelling to a different time zone) cause the physiological state known as fatigue. A fatigued person is accident prone, judgement impaired and more likely to make mistakes and bad decisions. Staying awake for 24 hours leads to a reduced hand-to-eye coordination that is similar to having a blood alcohol content of 0.1. This is why sleep deprivation contributes to road accidents and work injuries. Lack of sleep can also affect a child's school performance, and could be linked to increased risk of emotional problems such as depression.
Symptoms of sleep deprivation in adults include:
Constant yawning
The tendency to doze off when not active for a while; for example, when watching television
Grogginess when waking in the morning
Sleepy grogginess experienced all day long (sleep inertia) Poor concentration and mood changes (more irritable).
Causes of sleep deprivation
Common causes of sleep deprivation include:
Personal choice - some people don't realize that the body needs adequate sleep. Instead of regularly going to bed at a reasonable hour, they prefer to stay up late to socialize, watch television or read a good book.
Illness - illnesses such as colds and tonsillitis can cause snoring, gagging and frequent waking, and have a direct effect on sleep by fragmenting it.
Work - people who do shift work disrupt their sleep-wake cycles on a regular basis. Frequent travellers (for example, airline crew) tend to have erratic sleeping patterns.
Sleep disorder - problems such as sleep apnoea, snoring and periodic limb movement disorder can disturb the person's sleep many times during the night.
Medications - some drugs used to treat disorders such as epilepsy or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can cause insomnia.
The sleeping environment - sleep may be disrupted for a range of environmental reasons; for example, because the bedroom is too hot or cold, or because of noisy neighbors or a snoring bed partner.
Poor sleep hygiene - some people's habits are disruptive; for example, drinking coffee or smoking cigarettes close to bedtime stimulates the nervous system and makes sleep less likely. Another common problem is lying in bed and worrying, rather than relaxing.
Babies, older babies and toddlers - parents almost always experience sleep deprivation because their young children wake frequently in the night for feeding or comfort.
Lack of sleep impairs performance
Let's say that a person who needs eight hours of sleep per night only gets six. This two-hour sleep loss can have a major impact including:
Reduced alertness
Shortened attention span
Slower than normal reaction time
Poorer judgement
Reduced awareness of the environment and situation
Reduced decision-making skills
Poorer memory
Reduced concentration
Increased likelihood of mentally 'stalling' or fixating on one thought
Increased likelihood of moodiness and bad temper
Reduced work efficiency
Loss of motivation
Errors of omission (making a mistake by forgetting to do something)
Errors of commission (making a mistake by doing something, but choosing the wrong option)
Microsleep (brief periods of involuntary sleeping that range from a few seconds to a few minutes in duration).
How much sleep is enough?
Sleep requirements differ from one person to the next, depending on age, physical activity levels, general health and other individual factors. In general:
Primary school children - need about nine to 10 hours. Studies show that increasing your child's sleep by as little as half an hour can dramatically improve school performance.
Teenagers - need about nine to 10 hours. too. Teenagers have an increased sleep requirement at the time when social engagements and peer pressure cause a reduction in sleep time. Lifestyle factors such as early school start times deprive them of the required sleep-in.
Adults - need about eight hours, depending on individual factors. We tend to need less sleep as we age, but be guided by your own state of alertness - if you feel tired during the day, aim to get more sleep.
Suggestions on how to get more sleep include:
Purposefully go to bed earlier each night.
Don't smoke or drink alcoholic or caffeinated beverages in the hours before bedtime.
Improve your sleeping environment in any way you can - for example, wear earplugs if you have noisy neighbors. Use relaxation techniques to help you fall asleep quickly.
Seek professional assistance for sleep disorders such as snoring.
Things to remember
Not enough sleep or disruptions to the sleep-wake cycle (such as those that may occur with shift work or travelling to a different time zone) cause the physiological state known as fatigue.
Staying awake for 24 hours leads to a reduced hand-to-eye coordination that is similar to having a blood alcohol content of 0.1.
Sleep deprivation affects children in different ways to adults - sleepy children tend to 'rev up' rather than slow down.
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Sleep_deprivation?OpenDocument
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
October 11, 2005
TUESDAY'S EDITORIAL (The Times and Democrat - October 11, 2005)
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'Drive as if your life depends on it'
THE ISSUE: Preventing traffic fatalities
OUR OPINION: Day of emphasis puts focus on tragedy on the highways
The traffic death toll in Orangeburg County continues to mount. The latest victim died in a single-car crash in heavy rain Friday night on U.S. 321 near Neeses. The 21-year-old from Denmark was a passenger in a vehicle that ran off the left side of the road and partially overturned.
Shane Thompson was one of eight people killed on South Carolina highways from Friday until Sunday. And he became Orangeburg County's 37th traffic fatality of 2005. That's 10 more people than had died on the county's roads by the same time a year ago.
The toll in South Carolina as a whole is horrific. As of Oct. 9, 828 people have died on South Carolina highways, compared to 781 last year.
To further call attention to the problem, the S.C. Department of Transportation on Monday observed "Put the Brakes on Fatalities Day," a nationwide program aimed at promoting one full day without a traffic death.
As unlikely as that is, we can hope that when the results are in, the day will have been miraculously death-free.
Most days in South Carolina are not.
In 2004, 1,046 people were killed in traffic crashes on South Carolina's highways. That is an average of about three people killed in crashes every day of the year.
According to data compiled by the S.C. Department of Public Safety, about 57 more fatalities have already been reported than during the same period a year ago. As of Sept. 12, 763 fatalities have been reported as compared to 706 at the same time last year.
Thus the need to make a commitment to every day being a zero-fatality one. People can greatly reduce the odds of becoming a statistic by taking pro-active steps.
Most fatal crashes are the result of driver error and are preventable. "Driving defensively, obeying the posted speed limits, slowing down in bad weather and in construction work zones and school zones and not drinking and driving are just a few examples of how drivers can reduce their chances of being in a crash," Executive Director Elizabeth S. Mabry of SCDOT said.
Wearing seat belts is essential.
Approximately two-thirds of all occupants killed in South Carolina motor vehicle crashes are not using safety belts. In 2005, of those fatally injured victims with access to seat belts, 73 percent were unrestrained.
"The fact that motor vehicle fatalities outnumber homicides by more than 3 to 1 was astounding to me," said Joe Jones, executive director of the South Carolina Society of Professional Engineers," an organization sponsoring the day of emphasis on preventing fatalities. "Most people tend to think that there are more deaths as a result of violent crime. It's very sobering to know that someone dies in a crash on our state's highways about every nine hours. And the sad part is that the majority of these fatal crashes are totally preventable."
As Mabry said: "Drive as if your life depends on it."
It does.
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
October 7, 2005
Use of Powered Chain Saws
Prepared by Baton Rouge Tower Employee, George Ricks
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Hurricane Katrina left many people without water or power for an extended period of time. In additon, city and rural property owners were left with downed trees that had to be cut up and removed. There were so many trees on the ground, that many property owners felt it would be best for them to purchase a chain saw and do the removal themselves. Unfortunately, many of these people have never held, much less operated, a chain saw in their lives. There were so many people trying to purchase saws and related equipment in my area, that the local store owners could not keep equipment stocked. I stood in line for nearly an hour at a local equipment store to get a new chain and some oil for my saw. I observed a female customer purchase a brand new top of the line chain saw. After she purchased the saw, she asked the store owner to go outside with her and show her how to use it. I can't help but wonder how she faired with the saw. I was told by a parish police officer, working in the aftermath of the storm, that he knew of two 911 emergency incidents resulting from use of chain saws. In one case, the chain came off of the saw and ripped the users knee open. In the other case, the user basically severed his hand from his arm. I'm certain there are many more injuries from chain saw use that go unheard.
When you buy a chain saw, you not only acquire a very useful tool, but you also acquire the safety hazards that accompany its operation.
If you must use a powered chain saw, please follow these few safety tips and suggestions:
1. Read the instruction manual and follow the steps for operation and maintenance of your saw. Read and understand the safety section.
2. Wear protective clothing. A hard hat is recommended. Goggles will protect your eyes against flying debris. Wear hearing protectors. Leather gloves and hard-toe shoes may also protect from limbs that contact the chain.
3. Always use both hands to operate the saw, even if you feel your saw is light enough to operate with one hand.
4. Observe precautions in refueling and carrying the saw. Shut off the saw when carrying it from one tree to the next if working conditions are hazardous.
5. Do not operate the saw from a ladder or after climbing into a tree.
6. Do not operate the saw holding it above your head.
7. Do remove nails, wire, etc. from the tree trunk prior to cutting.
8. Do not wear slippery shoes or baggy clothing. Always pay special attention to your footing while running the saw.
9. Always have a first-aid kit handy. While cutting, have someone with you as an observer in case of an accident.
10. Do not get in a hurry. Do not get distracted. Keep focused on the immediate task at all times.
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
October 7, 2005
FRIDAY'S EDITORIAL By The Orangeburg Times & Democrat Staff
_________________________________
THE ISSUE: Safer teenage driving
OUR OPINION: Parental involvement with advice, rules can make a difference
A set of wheels is every teen's dream, and if your child has recently acquired a driver's license, he or she is probably all revved up to drive to school this fall. But while your child is enjoying an exciting rite of passage, you're probably suffering through a rough patch of anxiety and worry.
Parents have a right to be concerned. Traffic accidents are the No. 1 killer of American teenagers (representing 39 percent of all teenage deaths), and teenagers have the highest crash risk of any age group (about four times higher than older drivers).
Why?
Inexperience and immaturity make young drivers far more likely to overestimate their driving ability while underestimating the dangers on the road-making them more likely to speed, tailgate, pass inappropriately, not wear their safety belts and succumb to peer pressure.
Any parent knows that total control of a teen's behavior is a pipe dream, but Autobytel Inc.'s "Take the Pledge" safe-driving campaign wants parents to know there are practical ways to help make your teen's "ride" considerably safer.
1. Don't assume driver education equals a safe, capable driver. Major studies reveal that high school driver ed. programs show little or no effect in reducing crashes. While it's safe to assume that driver ed. helps with basic driving skills and rules of the road, most are simply too short, offering too little behind-the-wheel hours of experience, to be more than a basic driving primer.
2. Combine driver ed. with a lot of parent-supervised driving practice. Research shows that when parents take an active role in their teen's driving education, their child's chances of being in a crash can be reduced by one-third. So invest the time and take an active, extended role in helping your teenager learn to drive. And remember, a crucial part of being a 'driving instructor' is setting a good example: Teens with crashes and traffic violations often have parents with bad driving records.
3. Know -- and enforce -- graduated licensing laws. Educate yourself on South Carolina's rules (log onto http://www.iihs.org/laws/state_laws/grad_license.htmlfor handy reference) and enforce them as family rules.
4. Restrict -- or ban -- night driving/weekend driving. The rate of fatal nighttime vehicle crashes is six times higher for teenage boys and three times higher for teen girls vs. their adult (30- to 59-year-old) counterparts. So set a household rule, or simply enforce the state's graduated licensing laws re: night driving, to prohibit teens from driving much later than 9 or 10. You should also strongly consider restricting weekend driving, given that last year 54 percent of all teen deaths occurred on Friday, Saturday or Sunday.
5. Restrict -- or ban -- letting kids drive around with friends. Nearly half of the crash deaths involving 16-year-olds took place when beginners were driving with fellow teen passengers. Lay down your own rules to limit social driving.
6. Restrict -- or ban -- teen cell phone use while driving. Drivers using phones are four times as likely to get into injury crashes ? and the consequences are more extreme for young drivers. Make the message loud and clear: No driving and talking.
7. When you choose a car for a teenager, invest in safety features. Roughly 90 percent of parents pass down a family vehicle, or purchase a used vehicle, for their teens. When choosing a vehicle, safety ? and safety features ? should be the top priority. A particular tip: Look for anti-lock brakes (standard in most late-model vehicles), which help young drivers maintain control during hard stops.
8. Draw up -- and display -- a teen-parent driver contract. A written pact creates an opportunity for your family to discuss, understand, and sign off on clear, ironclad safety rules with your child including enforced seat belt use, a zero-alcohol-tolerance policy, and rules for driving with friends, night driving, speeding, etc.
The S.C. Department of Public Safety has said it is essential for parents to take an active role in their teen's driving if the number of deaths is to be reduced. Consider the ways to get involved.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 18 -- 13 October 2005
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html
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TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Troubleshooting / IG Nobels
If you keep your computer powered on all the time, will it eventually get tired and cranky? Could cosmic rays be making your VCR misbehave? And can you make perfume with the help of over-stressed amphibians? Read on for answers...
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When Patrick and I started the TOURBUS newsletter back in 1995, it was one of the first sponsored email newsletters. We never expected that people would actually *thank us* for including advertising, but they do! Lots of people have written to say thanks for introducing them to our sponsors, and ACSM Supplies is often mentioned.
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Do Computers Get Tired?
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Does your computer start acting up when it's been running for several days? Is it electron buildup? Cosmic rays? Until recently, I would have dismissed the notion that electronic gunk can accumulate in a machine and cause it to act erratically. But it turns out there is some good science to support this notion.
http://www.askbobrankin.com/do_computers_get_tired.html
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Troubleshooting Flaky Internet Connections
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Does your Internet connection just drop sometimes, for no apparent reason? It could be gremlins. Or maybe you forgot to pay the cable bill again. Then again, it could be a hardware problem with a simple solution. Or maybe we should blame it on the software. Read my new article "Internet Connection Fails" for some helpful ideas on finding the source of the problem.
http://www.askbobrankin.com/internet_connection_fails.html
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The IG Nobel Prizes
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Surely you've heard of the Nobel Prize, which is awarded for great achievements in Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, Literature and Peace. But have you heard about the IG NOBEL Prize? The Igs, which honor individuals whose achievements "cannot or should not be reproduced" are intended to celebrate the unusual, honor the imaginative, and take a good-natured poke at some remarkably goofy things done in the name of science.
http://www.improb.com/ig/ig-top.html
This year's Ig Nobel Prizes, sponsored by the science humor magazine "The Annals of Improbable Research", were awarded at Harvard University on October 6. Here are some of the highlights:
--> LITERATURE: Truth Really is Stranger Than Fiction
Awarded to the Internet entrepreneurs of Nigeria, for creating and distributing a bold series of short stories, introducing millions of readers to a cast of characters such as Mrs. Mariam Abacha, who desperately needs your help (and cash) to obtain access to untold riches which are unjustly withheld from her.
RELATED NEWS: http://www.hotnews360.com/nigerian-scam-news.html
--> PEACE: Luke the Locust discovers his real Faathaaaa!
Awarded to Claire Rind and Peter Simmons of Newcastle University, in the U.K., for electrically monitoring the activity of a brain cell in a locust while that locust was watching selected highlights from the movie "Star Wars."
RELATED NEWS: http://www.hotnews360.com/star-wars-news.html
--> BIOLOGY: Nope, it's not Teen Spirit... Just a stressed-out frog
Awarded to Benjamin Smith of the University of Adelaide and the Firmenich perfume company, for painstakingly smelling & cataloging the peculiar odors produced by 131 different species of frogs when the frogs were feeling stressed.
RELATED NEWS: http://www.hotnews360.com/frogs-news.html
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How Safe Is Your Computer?
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Did you know... a survey conducted by the National Cyber Security Alliance (NCSA) and backed by the US Department of Homeland Security found that more than 70% of computer owners falsely believed they were safe from online threats such as adware, spyware and viruses?
The truth is, it's easy to get infected without even knowing it. Downloading free software or visiting tainted Web pages can often infect your computer. What's an unsuspecting computer owner to do? No need to worry - you can take steps to eliminate this false sense of security by taking a few precautions to protect yourself. And Smart Computing can help. Sign up for your 3 RISK-FREE ISSUES now!
http://www.tourbus.com/smart.htm
That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
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==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238
Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved
Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html
Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the
Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
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Sam Boggs shared the following with us. I believe that Wal-Mart and other such large corporate stores are responsive to our desires, not responsible for them.
Bug
“... thought I'd pass along kind words about an AR company. There's just something about a profit motive, which government, of course, doesn't have.”
Government can take lesson from Wal-Mart
By Bill Steigerwald
TRIBUNE-REVIEW Friday, October 14, 2005
Some people will never stop hating Wal-Mart.
If it gave away everything on its shelves and starting paying its army of associates better than union autoworkers, Wal-Mart still would be criticized in the mainstream media and elsewhere by those who don't understand economics or automatically despise businesses that are big and successful.
But as Fortune magazine shows in its issue focusing on how big corporations such as Wal-Mart, Home Depot and FedEx relied on principles of good crisis management to get the job done before and after Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast, the world's biggest retailer ain't all bad and all evil.
As Fortune details in its "After Katrina" package, as soon as Katrina's winds passed, Wal-Mart -- and its equally clever, well-prepared and well-run corporate cousins -- quickly stepped over or around the confused, floundering and sluggish bodies of federal, state and local government relief agencies and sprang into action.
Wal-Mart not only implemented emergency plans six days before Katrina hit land. It knew from its in-house meteorologists that Katrina had zigged toward New Orleans 12 hours before the National Weather Service issued a similar advisory.
Wal-Mart knows from experience what things people buy before and after hurricanes pass by, and it shipped extra amounts of them by the truckload: Obvious items such as flashlights, dry ice and tarps, but also Strawberry Pop-Tarts.
Its stores also were overstocked on basics: water, shoes, prescription drugs and clothing. One manager of a storm surge-smashed Wal-Mart in Waveland, Miss., was praised by her bosses for deciding on her own to give away whatever she could salvage to battered hurricane victims in the parking lot.
Home Depot also is used to dealing with hurricanes. It had mobilized four days before Katrina hit, Fortune says. It had generators and building supplies pre-positioned to the left and right of Katrina's projected path and had 23 of 33 stores in the hurricane disaster zone open the next day.
Fortune doesn't suggest for a moment that private corporations, no matter how efficiently they are run or how well they plan for risk, have the resources to replace government relief.
But it does contrast the successes of Wal-Mart and Home Depot to the many stumbles and failings of FEMA, the Red Cross and local governments. As one local mayor gushes, "The Red Cross and FEMA need to take a masters class in logistics and mobilization from Wal-Mart."
That will never happen, of course. Governments will always act like governments, and private companies will always act like private companies, even during major disasters
Bill Steigerwald can be reached at bsteigerwald@tribweb.com
or (412) 320-7983.
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FEMA Disaster Medical Assistance Teams Hard At Work; Federal Teams Have
Treated More Than 100,000 Patients
Release Date: September 30, 2005
Release Number: HQ-05-315
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Federal Emergency Management Agency's Disaster Medical Assistance Teams (DMATs) were staged in the Gulf Region prior to Hurricane Katrina made landfall and have been on the ground treating patients ever since. The teams have treated more than 100,000 patients of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita to date, the largest population served in the teams' history. FEMA's DMATs are currently setup and working in Hattiesburg, Mississippi; Thibodaux, New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Lake Charles, Lafayette and Gonzales, Louisiana; and Beaumont, Livingston, Port Arthur, Nacogdoches, Woodville, Orange, and Waco, Texas.
"FEMA's Disaster Medical Assistance Teams have been on the ground and working continuously to save lives and provide medical services to those impacted by Hurricanes Katrina and Rita," said Acting FEMA Director David Paulison. "They started out in mash-style tent operations during the immediate response and now are supporting hospitals where staff is still evacuated or were themselves victims of the hurricane. They are trained to work in disaster settings and their work has been heroic and tireless through these last four weeks."
The National Disaster Medical System (NDMS), housed at DHS-FEMA, is a cooperative asset-sharing program that augments local medical care when an emergency exceeds the scope of a community's hospital and healthcare resources. The emergency resources -- which include some 8,000 medical and support personnel from across the country -- come from federal, state and local governments, the private sector and civilian volunteers. These teams train together and deploy as a unit from cities across the nation when FEMA calls.
"Our team, made up of doctors, nurses and other medical support team members from Texas supported the Katrina efforts early on and we are now rotating back into Texas after a brief break," said Mona Khanna, M.D., M.P.H, Medical Officer for the Texas 4 DMAT Team, who brings expertise in internal medicine and public disaster health to FEMA medical aid efforts. "Our team arrives in Port Arthur , Texas , today to a hospital that was evacuated and closed so we can provide emergency services to those patients in the area. Many of the regular hospital staff and doctors are dealing with their personal storm damage."
Just one piece of National Disaster Medical System is FEMA's Disaster Medical Assistance Teams. These 55 teams located across the nation deploy to disaster sites to provide medical care at a fixed or temporary medical care site -- a tent, a shelter, a hospital or other facility -- with supplies and equipment sufficient to sustain their operations for a period of 72 hours. Additional supplies then push in behind after their immediate arrival. These teams' responsibilities include providing emergency care for serious needs from stabilizing critical care patients to administering immunizations. The teams provide high-quality medical care despite the adverse and austere environment often found at a disaster site.
In some situations, DMATs may provide primary medical care or may serve to augment overloaded local health care staffs. Under the rare circumstance that disaster victims are evacuated to a different locale to receive definitive medical care, DMATs may be activated to support patient reception and disposition of patients to hospitals.
The National Disaster Medical System assets overseen at DHS-FEMA include:
55 Disaster Medical Assistance Teams (DMATs), which include federal, state, local and private medical professionals. In addition, there are specialized teams to handle burns, pediatrics, crush injuries, surgery and mental health;
11 Disaster Mortuary Operational Response Teams (DMORTs) -- which consist of private citizens with specialized training and experience to help in the recovery, identification and processing of deceased victims;
4 National Medical Response Teams (NMRTs), to deal with the medical consequences of incidents potentially involving chemical, biological or nuclear materials;
4 Veterinary Medical Assistance Teams (VMATs), which include clinician veterinarians, pathologists, animal health technicians, microbiologists and others who assist animal disaster victims and provide care to search dogs; and
3 International Medical Surgical Teams (IMSuRTs) -- one operational and two under development -- highly specialized, trained and equipped to establish a fully capable free-standing field surgical facility anywhere in the world.
National Disaster Medical Assistance Teams have recently responded to large-scale disasters including The World Trade Center in September 2001, Hurricane Isabel in September 2003 and treated approximately 10,000 patients during the four hurricanes that hit Florida in 2004, in addition to many other disasters.
FEMA prepares the nation for all hazards and manages federal response and recovery efforts following any national incident. FEMA also initiates mitigation activities, trains first responders, works with state and local emergency managers, and manages the National Flood Insurance Program and the U.S. Fire Administration. FEMA became part of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security on March 1, 2003.
Thanks to John Burge
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TGIF-Today God Is First
Covenant Relationships
by Os Hillman, October 10, 2005
But I will establish My covenant with you, and you will enter the ark - you and your sons and your wife and your sons' wives with you. - Genesis 6:18
The Bible is filled with covenants made between God and people. Six of those covenants were made with Old Testament figures: Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, and David. The seventh was made with His own Son, Jesus Christ. God is always the strongest partner in a covenant relationship.
God made a covenant with Noah in order to preserve the human race. This covenant involved Noah's participation by building an ark. He'd never built an ark before. He'd never had a boat. It was a totally new concept to Noah and the rest of the world. Why would he need a boat in a dry land?
Noah did not have to invent the ark; God gave him the plans-in specific dimensional detail. He did not have to gather the animals-God led them into the ark. God even closed the door when they all came on board. God made it rain to prove why the ark was needed.
The covenant provided all Noah needed to complete his mission in life. When God spoke to Noah to do this thing, he needed only to respond to God's call to do it. Noah could rest in knowing the covenant made with God was going to be fulfilled if he fulfilled his part.
If you have entered into a covenant relationship with God, you too can be assured that God will uphold His part of the covenant relationship. He is committed to fulfilling His covenant with you and to fulfill His purposes in and through your life. It only requires one thing on your part-obedience. He will even provide grace and faith to you to help you fulfill your part of the covenant.
Each of us has a covenant with God. But we also enter covenants with others in our personal and business lives. How are you doing in fulfilling covenants to others? God has given us the example to follow. Ask God if you have any unfulfilled covenants you need to honor. He has called you and me to be covenant keepers.
The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it (1 Thessalonians 5:24).
-=+=-
When Plans are Thwarted
by Os Hillman, October 13, 2005
But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia. - Daniel 10:13
I left at 5:00 a.m. to fly to another city to present some possible joint initiatives in ministry with another organization. I would have only an hour or so to meet with the board. I got into the city and taxied to the hotel. This is great, I thought. No glitches. I am even here an hour early. I asked where the meeting was. There was no record of such a meeting, even though my contact was staying at the hotel. I made several calls, to no avail. What had I missed? I continued trying to reach someone. An hour and a half later I reached my wife. She located a letter that seemed to indicate the meeting might be downtown. I took a cab and arrived at the location. "I am sorry, sir, there are no seventh-floor offices in use yet in this building."
"That cannot be. My letter says different." After I insisted, she let me go up. I arrived on the seventh floor. Nothing but concrete. Perplexed, I called my wife again. We made contact with yet another person who gave us another number to call. Finally, we located where the meeting was taking place. I got into the cab for another $30 cab ride. Forty-five minutes later the cab driver was lost. We stopped at a dry cleaners and he asked the people there, where the street was located. I was past the point of anger. I was laughing at this situation. A few minutes later, we arrived at our destination, three and a half hours after our scheduled time.
Plans do not always go as we hope. Sometimes they are hindered for our purposes. Sometimes we are dealing in a spiritual realm in which we realize we are truly in a spiritual battle. And sometimes we are even hindered to protect us. After looking at this situation, I believe I was being hindered from getting to this meeting. However, perseverance and God's grace allowed me to make the meeting. Important initiatives resulted from the brief time I was there.
The next time your plans are thwarted, begin asking what is at the root of the calamities. Ask God for discernment on what is taking place. Just as He revealed to Daniel, God will show you what is behind such events.
-=+=-
Mount Horeb
by Os Hillman, October 9, 2005
So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. - 1 Kings 19:8
Elijah and Moses were men of great zeal. They were passionate about their causes.. Moses sought to free the Hebrews from the tyranny of slavery by killing an Egyptian with his own hand. Elijah, after calling down fire on the evil prophets of Baal, found himself spent physically and emotionally to the point he asked God to take his life.
Immediately after these two events, 500 years apart from one another, both men were led to the same Mount Horeb, the mountain of God. In Hebrew, Horeb means "desolation." This barren environment mirrored the condition of Moses and Elijah. For Moses, it was 40 years of barrenness. For Elijah, it was 40 days without food. Elijah became tired of standing alone for God.
As workplace believers we often become so focused on the goal we forget to meet God at our own Mount Horeb. This was the place God met both Moses and Elijah. It was a place of renewal, a place of new beginnings, a place of personal encounter with the living God.
Perhaps Elijah's greatest virtue was his zeal. Indeed, we shall see that twice in his communication with God, Elijah speaks of having been "very zealous" for the Lord. But zeal, unattended eventually becomes its own God; it compels us toward expectations, which are unrealistic, and outside the timing and anointing of God.
To remain balanced, zeal must be reined in and harnessed by strategic encounters with the living God. We otherwise become frustrated with people and discouraged with delays. We step outside our place of strength and spiritual protection. Many of us become so consumed with our battles that we are no longer aware of the presence of Jesus. We have been traveling in our own strength. [Francis Frangipane, Place of Immunity (Cedar Rapids, Iowa: Arrow Publications, 1994), 5.]
Pray that Jesus will teach us that intimacy with Him is the greatest measure of success. Lord, guide us to the mountain of Your presence.
-=+=-
An Audience of One
by Os Hillman, October 12, 2005
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2
What audience do you play to? Each day you are seen by many who will make a judgment about the way you handle yourself among different audiences. Politicians have learned to play to their audiences, customizing messages for the needs of their particular groups. Musicians have learned to play to their audiences. Pastors play to their congregations each Sunday morning. Workplace believers play to the audiences who will buy their product.
Christ has called us to play to one audience - the audience of Himself. When you seek to please any other audience in your life, you become susceptible to situational ethics and motivations based on the need for the moment. Your audience becomes a pawn in your hands because you know what they want. Is that wrong? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.
Pure obedience to pleasing God in our lives will often meet the needs of those around us. It is God's will that you and I love our spouses, provide good services to our customers, and look to the interests of others before ourselves. This will result in meeting many needs of the audiences in our lives.
However, there are other times when our audiences are asking for something contrary to God's will. Politicians are often forced to appease their audiences, even though it may go against God's laws. When we are asked to go with the flow, we discover which audience is most important in our lives. Is it the audience of One, or the audience of many?
Today, be aware of which audience you are playing to. Ask yourself why you are taking a particular action. Is it to please the audience of One? Or is it to please the audience of others who might negatively impact you should you not play to their tune?
-=+=-
Copyright 2005. www.MarketplaceLeaders.org
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To contact Os Hillman, request reprint permission, or to book Os to speak in your town write to os@marketplaceleaders.org. Marketplace Leaders Website: http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/ Copyright 2005
--------------------------------------------------
Please recommend this TGIF daily devotional to everyone interested in applying their faith to their worklife. Tell them to subscribe at http://www.TodayGodIsFirst.com
Os Hillman Copyright 2005
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Activities and Events of Interest
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Steak and Bingo Dinner Rescheduled - October 22
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The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/
The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
01. Lance Cpl. Patrick B. Kenny, 20, of Pittsburgh, Pa., died Oct. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Al Karmah, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
02. Lance Cpl. Daniel M. McVicker, 20, of Alliance, Ohio, died Oct. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Al Qaim, Iraq. He was assigned to Combat Service Support Detachment 21, 2nd Force Service Support Group, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Cherry Point, N.C. As part of Operation Iraqi Freedom he was attached to Regimental Combat Team 2, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
03. Pfc. Shayne M. Cabino, 19, of Canton, Mass., died Oct. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Al Karmah, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
The Department of Defense announced the death of three Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
04. Cpl. Nicholas O. Cherava, 21, of Ontonagon, Mich., and
05. Lance Cpl. Jason L. Frye, 19, of Landisburg, Pa., died Oct. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Al Karmah, Iraq. They were assigned to 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
06. Lance Cpl. Carl L. Raines II, 20, of Coffee, Ala, died Oct. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Al Qaim, Iraq. He was assigned to Combat Service Support Detachment 21, 2nd Force Service Support Group, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Cherry Point, N.C. As part of Operation Iraqi Freedom he was attached to Regimental Combat Team 2, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
07. Sgt. 1st Class Moses E. Armstead, 44, of Rochester, N.Y., died at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Landstuhl, Germany, on Oct. 6, of a non-combat related illness identified on Oct. 5, as he was returning from leave status and preparing to redeploy to Afghanistan. Armstead was assigned to the Army's 16th Ordnance Battalion, Aberdeen Proving Ground, Md.
08. Pfc. Benny S. Franklin, 19, of Hammond, La., died in Kandahar, Afghanistan, on Oct. 7, of injuries sustained earlier that day in Helmand, Afghanistan, when he stepped on a landmine during patrol operations. Franklin was assigned to the Army's 2nd Battalion, 319th Airborne Field Artillery Regiment, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.
09. Staff Sgt. Timothy J. Roark, 29, of Houston, Texas, died in Balad, Iraq, on Oct. 2, of a non-combat related injury. Roark was assigned to the Army's 4th Battalion, 123rd Aviation Regiment, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died of injuries sustained in Haqlaniyah, Iraq, on Oct. 7, when their dismounted patrol was attacked by enemy forces using small arms fire. Both soldiers were assigned to the Army's 3rd Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C. Killed were:
10. Sgt. Eric A. Fifer, 22, of Knoxville, Tenn. Fifer died in Al Asad, Iraq.
11. Pfc. Nicholas J. Greer, 21, of Monroe, Mich. Greer died in Haqlaniyah, Iraq.
12. Staff Sgt. Gary R. Harper Jr., 29, of Virden, Ill., died in Baghdad, Iraq on Oct. 9, when his reconnaissance mission was attacked by enemy forces. Harper was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 5th Special Forces Group, Fort Campbell, Ky.
13. Lt. Col. Leon G. James II, 46, of Sackets Harbor, N.Y., died at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C., on Oct. 10, of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on Sep. 26, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. James was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 314th Field Artillery Regiment, 2nd Brigade, 78th Division, Fort Drum, N.Y.
14. Staff Sgt. Jerry L. Bonifacio Jr., 28, of Vacaville, Calif., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Oct. 10, when a vehicle-borne improvised explosive device detonated near his checkpoint. Bonifacio was assigned to the Army National Guard's 1st Battalion, 184th Infantry Regiment, Dublin, Calif.
15. Spc. Jeremy M. Hodge, 20, of Ridgeway, Ohio, died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Oct. 10, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Hodge was assigned to the Army National Guard's 612th Engineer Battalion, Tiffin, Ohio.
16. Staff Sgt. Matthew A. Kimmell, 30, of Paxton, Ind., died in Muqdadiyah, Iraq, on Oct. 11, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Kimmell was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 5th Special Forces Group, Fort Campbell, Ky.
17. Staff Sgt. Troy S. Ezernack, 39, of Lancaster, Pa., died in Qalat, Afghanistan, on Oct. 9, of injuries sustained earlier that day when his combat patrol was attacked by enemy forces using a grenade. Ezernack was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment, 173rd Airborne Brigade, Vicenza, Italy.
18. Lance Cpl. Sergio H. Escobar, 18, of Pasadena, Calif., died Oct. 9 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Ar Ramadi, Iraq. Escobar was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, his unit was attached to the 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, on Oct. 10, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their M2A2 Bradley Fighting Vehicle during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 30th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Benning, Ga. Killed were:
19. Sgt. 1st Class Brandon K. Sneed, 33, of Norman, Okla.
20. Sgt. Leon M. Johnson, 28, of Jacksonville, Fla.
21. Staff Sgt. Troy S. Ezernack, 39, of Lancaster, Pa., died in Qalat, Afghanistan, on Oct. 9, of injuries sustained earlier that day when his combat patrol was attacked by enemy forces using a grenade. Ezernack was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment, 173rd Airborne Brigade, Vicenza, Italy
22. Spc. James T. Grijalva, 26, of Burbank, Ill., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Oct. 12, of a non-combat related injury. Grijalva was assigned to the Army National Guard's 2nd Battalion, 130th Infantry Regiment, Urbana, Ill.
23. Master Sgt. Kenneth E. Hunt Jr., 40, of Tucson, Ariz., died Oct. 12 at Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas. Hunt died from wounds received July 24 when the vehicle he was riding in struck an anti-tank mine while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Taqaddum, Iraq. Hunt was assigned to Marine Wing Support Group 37, 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Air Station Yuma, Ariz.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Balad, Iraq, on Oct. 12, when their military vehicle collided with a civilian vehicle and overturned. Both soldiers were assigned to the 24th Transportation Company, 541st Maintenance Battalion, Fort Riley, Kan. Killed were:
24. Sgt. Donald D. Furman, 30, of Burton, S.C.
25. Sgt. Lorenzo Ponce Ruiz, 26, of El Paso, Texas.
26. Spc. Robert W. Tucker, 20, of Hilham, Tenn., died in Ad Dujayl, Iraq, on Oct. 13, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Tucker was assigned to the Army National Guard's 3rd Squadron, 278th Armored Cavalry Regiment, Jamestown, Tenn.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"Fight till you win!" - - Mark Brazee
"Bring 'em on!" - -President George W. Bush
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - - Margaret Mead
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
John 15:5-8 Psa 46:1-3 Luke 1:18-20 Mat 26:6-10 Micah 7:8-10
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. This week, "Word" and "PDF" subscribers get to see photos of Albemarle Firefighters and one of our favorite nieces.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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Hello All,
It’s been a busy week with EMS training and other work activities. Throw in a work seminar on diet and exercise and we’re done.
The seminar did have a couple of interesting points. You can multiply your weight by 10 to get the number of calories you should eat per day to maintain your weight. (Up that factor to 15 or 20 if you’re more active than the typical couch potato.) If you want to lose weight, knock 500 calories per day off your diet and you’ll lose a pound a week.
They also gave us pedometers to see if we walked the recommended 10,000 steps per day. Annette and I are now in competition to see who walks the most each day. “She won Wednesday and I won Thursday.”
~~~~~
"Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit" is GREAT! We took our grandkids as well as Kelly and Robert’s kids last Saturday and had a truly GREAT time. When this one comes out on DVD we’ll have to get it.
~~~~~
The World Health Organization announced that they would try again next year to eradicate Polio. Nigeria has suffered a severe outbreak after it’s citizens fell prey to rumors that the vaccine was a western plot to sterilize Moslem populations.
~~~~~
Meanwhile, back here in the United States, four children in an Amish community in Minnesota have contracted the poliovirus the first known infections in the U.S. in five years, state health officials said Thursday.
~~~~~
The Magnolia Lions Club will be serving a barbeque take-out supper on Tuesday, October 18 from 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. The meal will consist of ½ chicken, baked potato, coleslaw, and bread for $5.00. Meals are to be picked up at the Brookshire's parking lot. Please contact Billie Dadgar (ext. 6185, or 234-7080) for tickets.
~~~~~
Annette and I have been enjoying the BBC series “BallyKissAngel”. I’ve put all the available episodes on our NetFlix Queue (http://www.netflix.com). It’s a good dramatic comedy about an English Priest in an Irish village.
~~~~~
Don't forget. The Steak and Bingo Dinner has been Rescheduled to Saturday October 22
~~~~~
http://lava.nationalgeographic.com/pod/
~~~~~
Don't forget ... "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular Mid Premium Diesel
Current Avg. $22.81 $2.99 $3.10 $3.18
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - Basic Waffle - - Alton Brown, 2005 - - Good Eats - - The Waffle Truth
Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Yield: approximately 6 (8-inch round) waffles
4 3/4 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 1 cup
4 3/4 ounces whole-wheat flour, approximately 1 cup
½ teaspoon baking soda
1-teaspoon baking powder
1-teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons sugar
3 whole eggs, beaten
2 ounces unsalted butter, melted
16 ounces buttermilk, room temperature
Vegetable spray, for waffle iron
Preheat waffle iron according to manufacturer's directions.
In a medium bowl whisk together the flours, soda, baking powder, salt, and sugar. In another bowl beat together eggs and melted butter, and then add the buttermilk. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir until combined. Allow to rest for 5 minutes.
Ladle the recommended amount of waffle batter onto the iron according to the manufacturer's recommendations. Close iron top and cook until the waffle is golden on both sides and is easily removed from iron. Serve immediately or keep warm in a 200 degree F oven until ready to serve.
~~
Chocolate Waffle
Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Yield: approximately 6 (8-inch round) waffles
7 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 1-½ cups
1 3/4 ounces sugar, approximately 3 tablespoons
1.5 ounces cocoa powder, approximately ½ cup
1-teaspoon baking powder
1-teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon baking soda
3 whole eggs, beaten
2 ounces unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
1-teaspoon pure vanilla extract
16 ounces buttermilk, room temperature
4 ounces chocolate chips, approximately 3/4 cup
Vegetable spray, for waffle iron
Preheat waffle iron according to manufacturer's directions.
In a medium bowl whisk together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, salt, and baking soda. In another bowl beat together the eggs and melted butter and vanilla, and then add the buttermilk. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir in the chocolate chips just until combined. Allow to rest for 5 minutes.
Ladle the recommended amount of waffle batter onto the center of the iron. Close the iron top and cook until the waffle is crispy on both sides and is easily removed from iron. Serve immediately or keep warm in a 200 degree F oven until ready to serve.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_32037,00.html
~~~~~
The Taylor Elementary School will be having a BBQ Dinner Fundraiser on Saturday, October 29, from 6-8 p.m. Dinners will be dine-in or take out at the Taylor Cafeteria and will be $6.00 each.
BBQ, Potato Salad, Baked Beans, Bread, Dessert, Drink
Please contact Joel McMahen at the West Plant or Brian Taylor (6358) at the South Plant.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
Extraordinary Lengths
Religious Rights of Gitmo Prisoners
October 14, 2005
Note: This commentary was delivered by Prison Fellowship President Mark Earley.
Recently, I attended a Defense Department briefing for religious leaders. One of the topics was religious rights for captured military combatants being held at Guantanamo. The attendees included prominent members of the Christian, Jewish, and Muslim faiths. During the question-and-answer session, one of the imams spoke up. “We still hear cases of the Koran being desecrated,” he said. “What are you doing about it?”
That’s when I spoke up. I pointed out that there was no credible evidence that Koran desecration was taking place at Gitmo. In fact, the opposite is true: An investigation by a task force revealed a consistent, documented policy of respectful handling of the Koran stretching back more than two years. And I could not help reminding the imams that Muslim prisoners are being far better treated at Gitmo than they are in prisons in Muslim countries.
While everything at Gitmo has not been perfect, the fact is, those who guard Muslims at Gitmo are rigorously taught to respect the religious sensibilities and provide for the faith of those they guard. For example, since January 2002, prisoners have been issued more than 1,600 Korans in thirteen different languages. Guards are taught not to touch the Koran. If they wish to inspect it, they must ask detainees to present the Koran for visual inspection, or—if the prisoner refuses—a Muslim chaplain inspects it.
Our military also provides prayer rugs to all detainees who comply with camp rules. Calls to prayer are announced five times daily over the public address system. Hundreds of arrows are painted throughout the camp pointing to Mecca for ease of Muslim prayer. Detainees are allowed to preach without interference from the guards, and prisoner meals are cooked in strict accordance with Islamic guidelines.
In short, the U.S. military is going to extraordinary and unprecedented lengths to provide for the faith of these prisoners. The irony is that we are protecting and providing for the religious rights of Gitmo detainees far better than we do the religious rights of American prisoners of any and all faiths—inmates who are serving their sentences all over the United States.
For instance, Christians who are sent to prison in the United States are not given Bibles from prison authorities; if they want one, somebody has to donate it to the prison chaplain. Prisons often forbid Bible study groups from gathering because such gatherings violate protocols having to do with gangs. Jewish inmates have on occasion been prohibited from wearing yarmulkes. And in American prisons, no arrows point Muslims toward Mecca, and they have no say over how Korans are handled.
The question is: Why are we not willing to offer the same respect for American prisoners as we do non-American citizens?
Those who would ignore or deny these rights forget the great influence faith has in transforming the hearts of criminals. Anyone who cares about reducing the crime rate ought to make certain that the religious rights of inmates in his or her own community are well guarded.
It’s a measure of how much Americans value religious freedom that the U.S. military is willing to honor the religious sensibilities even of those who are locked up for trying to kill our citizens. How much more, then, should we protect the religious rights of our own citizens in our own prisons—most of whom will one day be released and live among us?
For further reading and information:
Spend a year studying with Chuck Colson: Learn how to identify, advocate, and apply biblical truth in every arena of life. Apply for the 2006 Centurions Program. The deadline is November 15.
Letta Tayler, “Behind barbed wire at Guantanamo,” Newsday, 2 October 2005.
“U.S. Investigating Allegations of Quran Desecration at Guantanamo,” U.S. Department of State, 11 May 2005.
Mark Bowden, “The Dark Art of Interrogation,” Atlantic Monthly, October 2003.
BreakPoint Commentary No. 050224, “Outsourcing Evil: Torture and Two Cities.”
BreakPoint Commentary No. 050114, “Give Me That Old-Time Religion—or Else: Protecting Religious Freedom.”
BreakPoint Commentary No. 030110, “The Fruit of Religious Experience: William James’s Testimony to Faith in Action.”
http://www.pfm.org//AM/Template.cfm?Section=BreakPoint1
The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
onus: burden; also, blame; stigma.
abstemious: temperate; abstinent; refraining from indulgence.
cant: empty, solemn speech.
laconic: using or marked by the use of a minimum of words.
palpable: plain; distinct; obvious.
gewgaw: a trinket; a bauble.
conurbation: an aggregation or continuous network of urban communities.
sinecure: an office or position that involves little work or responsibility.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Books are the bees which carry the quickening pollen from one to another mind." - James Russell Lowell
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult." - Seneca
"Secrecy, being an instrument of conspiracy, ought never to be the system of a regular government." - Jeremy Bentham
"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers." - Thomas Pynchon
"To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts." - Henry David Thoreau
"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted." - Aldous Huxley
"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot
"We pass the word around; we ponder how the case is put by different people, we read the poetry; we meditate over the literature; we play the music; we change our minds; we reach an understanding. Society evolves this way, not by shouting each other down, but by the unique capacity of unique, individual human beings to comprehend each other." - Lewis Thomas
~~~~~
2009 Likely to Be Digital TV Deadline
Oct 14, 9:06 PM (ET)
By JENNIFER C. KERR
WASHINGTON (AP) - Congress is zeroing in on early 2009 as the time for the country to make the switch to digital television broadcasts, a move that will give viewers sharper pictures and better sound.
A Senate bill would set a firm deadline of April 2009, according to a draft proposal obtained Friday by The Associated Press. The draft of a House bill would end analog transmissions on Dec. 31, 2008.
In addition to working out a compromise on the date, lawmakers must decide whether to keep a Senate provision calling for the federal government to pay for converter boxes that would allow people who don't have or can't afford a digital TV, or cable or satellite, to continue to receive over-the-air local stations.
The Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation is expected to take up the bill Wednesday.
Current law calls for television broadcasters to switch to all-digital transmissions by late 2006, or when 85 percent of households have the ability to receive digital signals. But there's confusion about how to count the 85 percent, so Congress is stepping in to set a so-called "hard date" - requiring broadcasters to end the transmission of their traditional analog signal.
The broadcasters' move to all-digital will free up valuable radio spectrum.
Some of the frequencies were promised to public safety groups in 1997, and they've been waiting for years for the broadcasters to vacate the analog spectrum. Those channels will help improve congestion and other communications problems on the emergency radios used by fire, police and others.
Besides setting a hard date, the Senate bill would designate an undermined amount of money, possibly $1 billion, to help public safety officials buy new equipment or invest in networks that would help improve communications across their own communities and across entire regions.
The spectrum that isn't allocated for public safety will be auctioned by the government. Congressional officials estimate its value at about $10 billion.
In a letter to lawmakers on Friday, Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates and other industry leaders urged Congress to speed the transition to DTV so the auctioned spectrum could be used for wireless broadband and other services, especially in rural and poor areas. They called for the earliest possible deadline but said it should be no later than Jan. 1, 2009.
A member of the coalition that sent the letter said he wasn't disappointed that the proposed deadline in the Senate bill is April 7, 2009.
"We are not going to argue over a few months," said Ralph Helmann, senior vice president of government relations at the Information Technology Industry Council. "Having a hard date was very significant."
---
On the Net:
Senate Commerce Committee: http://commerce.senate.gov
House Energy and Commerce: http://energycommerce.house.gov
http://apnews.excite.com/article/20051015/D8D85CC08.html
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GCF: Awareness Test
Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom
To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to:
SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ Unsubscribe info for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
------------------------------------
Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.
En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?"
The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window.
"Oh," he replied, "I'd say about 50, maybe 55."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Socks
Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to: andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------
When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. "Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked.
Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, "I'll take them."
Relieved, I started to ring up the sale, until she interrupted me. "Can I have another pack? This one's been opened."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: New Dictionary
Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to: andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------
While I was employed by a private corporation and assigned to the space-shuttle program, my job included ordering supplies. One of the engineers asked me to get a new dictionary for him. The request form said, "State reason this item is needed," so I asked him why he wanted one.
I expected his answer would be "My old copy is lost" or "The cover is falling off." Instead he replied, "My edition defines spaceship as an 'imaginary aircraft.'" He got his new dictionary.
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Wine Secret
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Joe) -Tom
------------------------------------
The secret to enjoying a good wine is:
1 - Open the bottle to allow it to breathe.
2 - When it does not breathe, give it mouth-to-mouth.
_ _________________________ _
GCF: Card Cover-up
Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
------------------------------------
A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card.
The clerk replied, "We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?"
The man said, "You don't understand. I need a card that covers *both* events! You see, we're celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife's thirty-fourth birthday..."
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( / / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ _( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Xylophataquieopiaphobia: \ /
\ _/ the fear of not pronouncing \_ /
/ / words correctly. \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / You can listen to thunder \ \_/ ////
\ / and tell how close \ /
\ _/ you came to being hit. \_ /
/ / If you don't hear it, \ you got hit, so never mind.
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / Yogurt is one of only three \ \_/ ////
\ / foods that taste \ /
\ _/ the way they sound. \_ /
/ / The other two are goulash and squid. \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Some days you are the bug. \ /
\ _/ Some days you are the windshield. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / There's a fine line between \ /
\ _/ fishing and standing on \_ /
/ / the shore looking like an idiot. \ _ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Apology to Spike
Dear Spike,
I have been unable to sleep since I forced my daughter to break off her engagement to you. Will you forgive and forget?
I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo, and pierced nose. I now realize motorcycles aren't really that dangerous, and I really should not have reacted the way I did to the fact that you have never held a job.
I am sure, too, that some other very nice people live under the bridge in the park.
Sure, my daughter is only 17 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on a full ride scholarship. After all, you can't learn everything about life from books. I sometimes forget how backward I can be. I was wrong. I was a fool. I have now come to my senses, and you have my full blessing to marry my daughter.
Sincerely,
Your future father-in-law
P. S. Congratulations on winning the Powerball lottery!
Received from Marty's Joke of the Day.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Sick Husband
A man suddenly started feeling horrible and was sent to the hospital.
The next day, the doctor had a talk with the man's wife. He said, "Your husband has been suffering from serious stress. If immediate action is not taken, he could die in a very short time."
The woman said, "What type of immediate action?"
The doctor said, "You must provide a stress-free environment in your home. For the next two weeks, make wonderful meals for him every day. Also, you must be sure that you don't nag him or stress him in any way."
On the drive home from the hospital, her husband asked, "So what's wrong with me, honey?"
The woman paused for a moment and then replied, "Sorry, honey, but you're going to die."
Received from Matt Durrant.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] What language are we speaking here?
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult -- for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased program of changes to iron out these anomalies. The program would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it kould be announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty persent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therfor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of ze Guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.
Received from Carrie Burroughs.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Things to Do in an Elevator
Things to Do in an Elevator
1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap him on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if he has an appointment.
9) Lay down the Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask him if he can hear ticking.
11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing him occasionally.
14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15) Swat at flies that don't exist.
16) Tell people that you can see their aura.
17) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
18) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
19) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
20) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
21) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
22) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
23) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
24) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
25) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
Received from Cathy Gilstrap.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Overseas Break
A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others."
Received from Ted Toll.
(-:][:-)
-=+=-
– NEW! Go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20050124 to rate this funny from 0 to 5.
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Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List "A cheerful heart is good medicine!" (Prov 17:22a) Go to http://gcfl.net/mlfrontend.php to change your subscription options or unsubscribe. To email this funny to a friend, go to http://gcfl.net/emailit.php?funny=20050107 The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://gcfl.net/latest.php
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News Item:
This morning - - from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of
Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military
action
in Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's supply of
convenience store managers. If this action does not yield sufficient
results, cab drivers will be next.
Folks, it's getting ugly.........
Thanks to Randall G. Maness
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
Today's Clean Laugh
Lost and Found
A police car pulled up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa got out. The polite policeman explained that the elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and couldn't find his way home.
"Morris," said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! How come you get lost today?"
Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear, grandpa whispered, "I wasn't lost. I was just too tired to walk home."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
"Eye Laugh"
Trailer Flat
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=156
(-:][:-)
Super Dress
Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.
As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips."
Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out. "If there is a dress here that will do that, I'll buy them all!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
"Eye Laugh"
Hairball 2
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=155
(-:][:-)
Super Dress
Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.
As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips."
Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out. "If there is a dress here that will do that, I'll buy them all!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
"Eye Laugh"
Hairball 2
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=155
(-:][:-)
Name Warning
On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver.
"Not only have you been driving too fast, you've been passing cars where it is not allowed. Your lights don't work, your tires all completely worn out. This is surely going to cost you a lot. What's your name?"
"Schtrathewisizeski Vocgefastilongchinic."
"Well, I'll let you go this time but don't do it again."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
"Eye Laugh"
Camper Deck
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=152
(-:][:-)
Bonus
Here's hoping there is no one like this at your workplace.
Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of one thousand dollars to any employee who could come up with a way of saving money.
The bonus went to a young woman in accounting who suggested limiting future bonuses to ten dollars.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
"Eye Laugh"
Can You Hear Me Now?
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=120
(-:][:-)
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Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/art_museum_visit_humor.html - - How To Visit An Art Museum "There are many good reasons to visit an art museum. Impressing a date. Vying for a slot in the cultural elite. Some people actually go because they appreciate art. If you're a novice art fan, this is how it's done:
1. Your virgin museum visit should take place while you're out of town. That way, your displays of ignorance will be witnessed only by strangers..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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The Healthy Refrigerator - - http://www.healthyfridge.org/ - - As cholesterol levels increase, most people are unaware that heart disease begins in childhood. This site is dedicated to providing heart-healthy tips for the entire family. Remember, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!
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United Nations Statistics Division - - http://unstats.un.org/unsd/default.htm - - The Statistics Division compiles statistics from many international sources and produces global updates, including the Statistical Yearbook, World Statistics Pocketbook and yearbooks in specialized fields of statistics. It also provides to countries, specifications of the best methods of compiling information so that data from different sources can be readily compared.
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Build Your Own Ideal PC - - http://www.pcworld.com/howto/article/0,aid,116993,00.asp - - Whether you're upgrading your machine or building one from scratch, this PC World Magazine article shows you how to choose the right parts and put them all together. With just a little more technical know-how than a typical upgrade requires, you can build a PC yourself from hand-picked parts. And you might even save a little money along the way.
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Columbus Day - - http://www.ibiblio.org/expo/1492.exhibit/Intro.html - - A sailor on board the Pinta sighted land early in the morning of October 12, 1492, and a new era of European exploration and expansion began. The next day, the 90 crew members of Christopher Columbus's three-ship fleet ventured onto the Bahamian island of Guanahani, ending a voyage begun nearly ten weeks earlier in Palos, Spain. This Library of Congress 'Today in History' site provides background information on Columbus Day.
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Influenza (Flu) - - http://www.cdc.gov/flu/ - - The flu is a contagious respiratory illness caused by influenza viruses. It can cause mild to severe illness, and at times can lead to death. The best way to prevent the flu is to get a flu vaccine each fall. This Flu Fact Sheet is from the National Center for Infectious Diseases of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
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The Supreme Court of the United States: Highest Court in the Land - - http://usinfo.state.gov/journals/itdhr/0405/ijde/ijde0405.htm - - This U.S. State Department site presents a collection of essays that explain how the Court functions with contributions by a number of the nation's premier legal scholars. Topics include a historical perspective on the nomination, confirmation, and appointment of justices and summaries of landmark decisions. Also includes a bibliography and links to related sites. From the U.S. Department of State. Related site: Supreme Court Nominations.
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American Photography: A Century of Images - - http://www.pbs.org/ktca/americanphotography/ - - Companion Web site to the PBS series capturing the images of a century of change and the role the camera has played both in creating and documenting it.
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How Computer Viruses Work - - http://www.howstuffworks.com/virus.htm - - Computer viruses are mysterious and grab our attention. On the one hand, viruses show us how vulnerable we are. A properly engineered virus can have an amazing effect on the worldwide Internet. This How Stuff Works site discusses viruses - both "traditional" viruses and the newer e-mail viruses - so that you can learn how they work and also understand how to protect yourself.
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"Illegal immigrants are increasing despite tighter border security and now outnumber foreigners moving to the United States legally. The Pew Hispanic Center reported Tuesday that immigration in general has been picking up, tracking the reviving American economy and improving jobs picture. 'The U.S. economy was obviously a very important factor in determining these flows,' said Roberto Suro, director of the center and a co-author of its study. Immigration - both legal and illegal - topped 1.5 million people in 1999 and 2000, according to the report. The number of people entering the United States then plummeted to 1.1 million people by 2003, the same level as in 1992. Immigration bounced back to 1.2 million in 2004, but the report cautioned that it is difficult to say whether the recent upswing is part of a new trend." -
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"There are 700,000 more millionaire households this year than in 2004, according to a survey released September 28, 2005. Households with a net worth of at least $1 million excluding primary residences rose 8 percent to a record high 8.9 million, according to an annual report by TNS Financial Services, a market research and polling firm. This is the third consecutive annual increase, although this year's growth rate is far more modest than the 33 percent increase seen in 2004. Interestingly, although the number of millionaire households grew, the averages among some of their primary investments were down. TNS found that there were fewer millionaire households who owned investment real estate this year than last, although real estate continued to be a staple in investment portfolios for many." -
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"Twelve-year-olds whose parents smoked were more than two times as likely to begin smoking cigarettes on a daily basis between the ages of 13 and 21 than were children whose parents didn't use tobacco, according to a new study that looked at family influences on smoking habits. The research indicated that parental behavior about smoking, not attitudes, is the key factor in delaying the onset of daily smoking, according to Karl Hill, director of the University of Washington's Seattle Social Development Project and an associate research professor of social work. Hill said other elements that influenced whether or not adolescents began daily smoking were consistent family monitoring and rules, family bonding or a strong emotional attachment inside the family, and parents not involving children in their own smoking behavior. The later includes such activities as asking their children to get a pack of cigarettes from the car or having them light a cigarette for the parent." -
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"More Americans than ever are strapping on their seat belts when they hop into the car. Belt use has reached a record 82 percent this year, an increase of 2 percentage points from last year, the Transportation Department said Friday. The credit goes to growing awareness of safety benefits - and a possible ticket if a police officer pulls a driver over. 'The fact that safety belts save lives is starting to click with the American people,' said Transportation Secretary Norman Y. Mineta. A state-by-state list will be released later in the year, officials said. While more vehicles are becoming equipped with technology to help reduce rollovers and avoid collisions, safety advocates still view the seat belt as the most effective tool in preventing traffic deaths." -
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"Pooled data from seven studies on diet and cancer provide weak evidence of a link between alcohol consumption and lung cancer risk -- mainly confined to men who never smoked. Although smoking is the main cause of lung cancer, not much is known about risk factors for nonsmokers, and modifying factors for smokers, Dr. Jo L. Freudenheim from the State University of New York at Buffalo and colleagues explain in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. They note that mortality due to lung cancer is high in studies of alcoholics, 'but the greater risk may be explained, in part or entirely, by the fact that the people in these populations were also more likely to smoke.' In their analyses, Freudenheim's team made every effort to separate the effect of smoking from that of alcohol on lung cancer risk." -
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"People should cut their daily salt intake to 6 grams a day -- one heaped teaspoon -- to reduce their blood pressure levels and the risk of heart disease and stroke, health experts said on October 3, 2005. A new report by Britain's Medical Research Council (MRC), which summarizes scientific evidence on the links between salt and health, said cutting salt consumption from the average 9.5 to 6 grams a day could result in a 13 percent reduction in stroke and a 10 percent decrease in heart disease. 'It was felt to be a level that brings significant health benefits,' Dr Susan Jebb, head of nutrition and health research at the MRC, told a news conference. 'It is achievable.' " -
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"Ninety percent of U.S. men and 70 percent of women eventually become overweight, meaning hardly any American will escape it unless something drastic changes, U.S. researchers said on October 3, 2005. The older they get, the more likely Americans are to put on the extra pounds that take them out of the healthy weight class and make them overweight or obese, the researchers said. 'National surveys and other studies have told us that the United States has a major weight problem, but this study suggests that we could have an even more serious degree of overweight and obesity over the next few decades,' said Dr. Elizabeth Nabel, director of the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, which paid for the study." -
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"Most seniors don't understand the new prescription-drug program being offered under Medicare and don't plan to sign up for coverage, even after months of salesmanship by the Bush administration. A USA TODAY/CNN/Gallup Poll taken last week shows 37% say they understand the program at least somewhat well, but 61% don't. Those figures haven't changed much from polls in July and August. About one in four seniors, 24%, say they plan to join the program, compared with 54% who say they don't. Twenty-two percent have no opinion. The poll of 275 adults age 65 and older has a margin of error of +/- 7 percentage points."
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|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
October 13, 2005
This message was posted in 2003 by James McClellan.
The Mine Safety and Health Administration (MSHA) has Murphy's Laws for Mines posted on it's website (www.msha.gov). James McClellan graciously adapted these laws with some good reminders for our operations - some are tongue-in-cheek - some are good safety procedure:
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Murphy's Laws for Chemical Operations Safety
If you assume something has been done, it probably has not.
If you are working on an elevated platform and you think you need a tie off, you probably do.
If a safe job procedure for a new piece of equipment or new process is not developed by the employees doing the work, someone will probably get hurt.
Anything unusual, different, or varying from the daily routine is a high percentage accident activity. Change requires careful planning and supervision.
If you write a safe work permit, and fail to communicate ALL the hazards associated with the job, you can be sure the "obvious" ones will hurt someone.
If you think you are the only person in the warehouse, and you are contemplating crossing over an idle conveyor, someone will probably start the belts at the exact time when you are on the conveyor.
If you don't bother locking and tagging, someone will likely energize it.
If you are in a plant without control room clearance, you will almost always encounter a line breaking operation (above you.)
When, for whatever reason, the emergency equipment is out of service, an emergency will often arise which requires it.
The first time any piece of electrical equipment is energized, it will usually be phased wrong.
If a thunderstorm is in the general area, all of the power will go off.
If electricians or mechanics (or anyone else) are using utility knives and cutting towards themselves, you can probably count on having a recordable injury.
Any time proper pre-op checks are not made on a piece of equipment, something is probably defective which will contribute toward an accident.
If something in the work place seems wrong and the hair stands up on the back of your neck, back out and study the situation - something probably is wrong. Fix it before proceeding.
The day when you have given a 30-minute presentation on your super maintenance software program to your company's CEO, that is the day the plant will breakdown.
All crews report that they were left in "bad shape" by the preceding shift.
Pieces of equipment that before ran perfectly, will not run when they are moved to a new location.
If a track switch is not properly aligned and gapped even slightly, some piece of rail equipment will likely split the switch and cause a wreck.
Crews that hold regular interactive safety meetings will almost always be the most productive.
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
October 12, 2005
Sleep deprivation
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Sleep is as important to the human body as food and water, but most of us don't get enough sleep. Insufficient sleep or disruptions to the sleep-wake cycle (such as those that occur with shift work or travelling to a different time zone) cause the physiological state known as fatigue. A fatigued person is accident prone, judgement impaired and more likely to make mistakes and bad decisions. Staying awake for 24 hours leads to a reduced hand-to-eye coordination that is similar to having a blood alcohol content of 0.1. This is why sleep deprivation contributes to road accidents and work injuries. Lack of sleep can also affect a child's school performance, and could be linked to increased risk of emotional problems such as depression.
Symptoms of sleep deprivation in adults include:
Constant yawning
The tendency to doze off when not active for a while; for example, when watching television
Grogginess when waking in the morning
Sleepy grogginess experienced all day long (sleep inertia) Poor concentration and mood changes (more irritable).
Causes of sleep deprivation
Common causes of sleep deprivation include:
Personal choice - some people don't realize that the body needs adequate sleep. Instead of regularly going to bed at a reasonable hour, they prefer to stay up late to socialize, watch television or read a good book.
Illness - illnesses such as colds and tonsillitis can cause snoring, gagging and frequent waking, and have a direct effect on sleep by fragmenting it.
Work - people who do shift work disrupt their sleep-wake cycles on a regular basis. Frequent travellers (for example, airline crew) tend to have erratic sleeping patterns.
Sleep disorder - problems such as sleep apnoea, snoring and periodic limb movement disorder can disturb the person's sleep many times during the night.
Medications - some drugs used to treat disorders such as epilepsy or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can cause insomnia.
The sleeping environment - sleep may be disrupted for a range of environmental reasons; for example, because the bedroom is too hot or cold, or because of noisy neighbors or a snoring bed partner.
Poor sleep hygiene - some people's habits are disruptive; for example, drinking coffee or smoking cigarettes close to bedtime stimulates the nervous system and makes sleep less likely. Another common problem is lying in bed and worrying, rather than relaxing.
Babies, older babies and toddlers - parents almost always experience sleep deprivation because their young children wake frequently in the night for feeding or comfort.
Lack of sleep impairs performance
Let's say that a person who needs eight hours of sleep per night only gets six. This two-hour sleep loss can have a major impact including:
Reduced alertness
Shortened attention span
Slower than normal reaction time
Poorer judgement
Reduced awareness of the environment and situation
Reduced decision-making skills
Poorer memory
Reduced concentration
Increased likelihood of mentally 'stalling' or fixating on one thought
Increased likelihood of moodiness and bad temper
Reduced work efficiency
Loss of motivation
Errors of omission (making a mistake by forgetting to do something)
Errors of commission (making a mistake by doing something, but choosing the wrong option)
Microsleep (brief periods of involuntary sleeping that range from a few seconds to a few minutes in duration).
How much sleep is enough?
Sleep requirements differ from one person to the next, depending on age, physical activity levels, general health and other individual factors. In general:
Primary school children - need about nine to 10 hours. Studies show that increasing your child's sleep by as little as half an hour can dramatically improve school performance.
Teenagers - need about nine to 10 hours. too. Teenagers have an increased sleep requirement at the time when social engagements and peer pressure cause a reduction in sleep time. Lifestyle factors such as early school start times deprive them of the required sleep-in.
Adults - need about eight hours, depending on individual factors. We tend to need less sleep as we age, but be guided by your own state of alertness - if you feel tired during the day, aim to get more sleep.
Suggestions on how to get more sleep include:
Purposefully go to bed earlier each night.
Don't smoke or drink alcoholic or caffeinated beverages in the hours before bedtime.
Improve your sleeping environment in any way you can - for example, wear earplugs if you have noisy neighbors. Use relaxation techniques to help you fall asleep quickly.
Seek professional assistance for sleep disorders such as snoring.
Things to remember
Not enough sleep or disruptions to the sleep-wake cycle (such as those that may occur with shift work or travelling to a different time zone) cause the physiological state known as fatigue.
Staying awake for 24 hours leads to a reduced hand-to-eye coordination that is similar to having a blood alcohol content of 0.1.
Sleep deprivation affects children in different ways to adults - sleepy children tend to 'rev up' rather than slow down.
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Sleep_deprivation?OpenDocument
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
October 11, 2005
TUESDAY'S EDITORIAL (The Times and Democrat - October 11, 2005)
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'Drive as if your life depends on it'
THE ISSUE: Preventing traffic fatalities
OUR OPINION: Day of emphasis puts focus on tragedy on the highways
The traffic death toll in Orangeburg County continues to mount. The latest victim died in a single-car crash in heavy rain Friday night on U.S. 321 near Neeses. The 21-year-old from Denmark was a passenger in a vehicle that ran off the left side of the road and partially overturned.
Shane Thompson was one of eight people killed on South Carolina highways from Friday until Sunday. And he became Orangeburg County's 37th traffic fatality of 2005. That's 10 more people than had died on the county's roads by the same time a year ago.
The toll in South Carolina as a whole is horrific. As of Oct. 9, 828 people have died on South Carolina highways, compared to 781 last year.
To further call attention to the problem, the S.C. Department of Transportation on Monday observed "Put the Brakes on Fatalities Day," a nationwide program aimed at promoting one full day without a traffic death.
As unlikely as that is, we can hope that when the results are in, the day will have been miraculously death-free.
Most days in South Carolina are not.
In 2004, 1,046 people were killed in traffic crashes on South Carolina's highways. That is an average of about three people killed in crashes every day of the year.
According to data compiled by the S.C. Department of Public Safety, about 57 more fatalities have already been reported than during the same period a year ago. As of Sept. 12, 763 fatalities have been reported as compared to 706 at the same time last year.
Thus the need to make a commitment to every day being a zero-fatality one. People can greatly reduce the odds of becoming a statistic by taking pro-active steps.
Most fatal crashes are the result of driver error and are preventable. "Driving defensively, obeying the posted speed limits, slowing down in bad weather and in construction work zones and school zones and not drinking and driving are just a few examples of how drivers can reduce their chances of being in a crash," Executive Director Elizabeth S. Mabry of SCDOT said.
Wearing seat belts is essential.
Approximately two-thirds of all occupants killed in South Carolina motor vehicle crashes are not using safety belts. In 2005, of those fatally injured victims with access to seat belts, 73 percent were unrestrained.
"The fact that motor vehicle fatalities outnumber homicides by more than 3 to 1 was astounding to me," said Joe Jones, executive director of the South Carolina Society of Professional Engineers," an organization sponsoring the day of emphasis on preventing fatalities. "Most people tend to think that there are more deaths as a result of violent crime. It's very sobering to know that someone dies in a crash on our state's highways about every nine hours. And the sad part is that the majority of these fatal crashes are totally preventable."
As Mabry said: "Drive as if your life depends on it."
It does.
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
October 7, 2005
Use of Powered Chain Saws
Prepared by Baton Rouge Tower Employee, George Ricks
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Hurricane Katrina left many people without water or power for an extended period of time. In additon, city and rural property owners were left with downed trees that had to be cut up and removed. There were so many trees on the ground, that many property owners felt it would be best for them to purchase a chain saw and do the removal themselves. Unfortunately, many of these people have never held, much less operated, a chain saw in their lives. There were so many people trying to purchase saws and related equipment in my area, that the local store owners could not keep equipment stocked. I stood in line for nearly an hour at a local equipment store to get a new chain and some oil for my saw. I observed a female customer purchase a brand new top of the line chain saw. After she purchased the saw, she asked the store owner to go outside with her and show her how to use it. I can't help but wonder how she faired with the saw. I was told by a parish police officer, working in the aftermath of the storm, that he knew of two 911 emergency incidents resulting from use of chain saws. In one case, the chain came off of the saw and ripped the users knee open. In the other case, the user basically severed his hand from his arm. I'm certain there are many more injuries from chain saw use that go unheard.
When you buy a chain saw, you not only acquire a very useful tool, but you also acquire the safety hazards that accompany its operation.
If you must use a powered chain saw, please follow these few safety tips and suggestions:
1. Read the instruction manual and follow the steps for operation and maintenance of your saw. Read and understand the safety section.
2. Wear protective clothing. A hard hat is recommended. Goggles will protect your eyes against flying debris. Wear hearing protectors. Leather gloves and hard-toe shoes may also protect from limbs that contact the chain.
3. Always use both hands to operate the saw, even if you feel your saw is light enough to operate with one hand.
4. Observe precautions in refueling and carrying the saw. Shut off the saw when carrying it from one tree to the next if working conditions are hazardous.
5. Do not operate the saw from a ladder or after climbing into a tree.
6. Do not operate the saw holding it above your head.
7. Do remove nails, wire, etc. from the tree trunk prior to cutting.
8. Do not wear slippery shoes or baggy clothing. Always pay special attention to your footing while running the saw.
9. Always have a first-aid kit handy. While cutting, have someone with you as an observer in case of an accident.
10. Do not get in a hurry. Do not get distracted. Keep focused on the immediate task at all times.
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
October 7, 2005
FRIDAY'S EDITORIAL By The Orangeburg Times & Democrat Staff
_________________________________
THE ISSUE: Safer teenage driving
OUR OPINION: Parental involvement with advice, rules can make a difference
A set of wheels is every teen's dream, and if your child has recently acquired a driver's license, he or she is probably all revved up to drive to school this fall. But while your child is enjoying an exciting rite of passage, you're probably suffering through a rough patch of anxiety and worry.
Parents have a right to be concerned. Traffic accidents are the No. 1 killer of American teenagers (representing 39 percent of all teenage deaths), and teenagers have the highest crash risk of any age group (about four times higher than older drivers).
Why?
Inexperience and immaturity make young drivers far more likely to overestimate their driving ability while underestimating the dangers on the road-making them more likely to speed, tailgate, pass inappropriately, not wear their safety belts and succumb to peer pressure.
Any parent knows that total control of a teen's behavior is a pipe dream, but Autobytel Inc.'s "Take the Pledge" safe-driving campaign wants parents to know there are practical ways to help make your teen's "ride" considerably safer.
1. Don't assume driver education equals a safe, capable driver. Major studies reveal that high school driver ed. programs show little or no effect in reducing crashes. While it's safe to assume that driver ed. helps with basic driving skills and rules of the road, most are simply too short, offering too little behind-the-wheel hours of experience, to be more than a basic driving primer.
2. Combine driver ed. with a lot of parent-supervised driving practice. Research shows that when parents take an active role in their teen's driving education, their child's chances of being in a crash can be reduced by one-third. So invest the time and take an active, extended role in helping your teenager learn to drive. And remember, a crucial part of being a 'driving instructor' is setting a good example: Teens with crashes and traffic violations often have parents with bad driving records.
3. Know -- and enforce -- graduated licensing laws. Educate yourself on South Carolina's rules (log onto http://www.iihs.org/laws/state_laws/grad_license.htmlfor handy reference) and enforce them as family rules.
4. Restrict -- or ban -- night driving/weekend driving. The rate of fatal nighttime vehicle crashes is six times higher for teenage boys and three times higher for teen girls vs. their adult (30- to 59-year-old) counterparts. So set a household rule, or simply enforce the state's graduated licensing laws re: night driving, to prohibit teens from driving much later than 9 or 10. You should also strongly consider restricting weekend driving, given that last year 54 percent of all teen deaths occurred on Friday, Saturday or Sunday.
5. Restrict -- or ban -- letting kids drive around with friends. Nearly half of the crash deaths involving 16-year-olds took place when beginners were driving with fellow teen passengers. Lay down your own rules to limit social driving.
6. Restrict -- or ban -- teen cell phone use while driving. Drivers using phones are four times as likely to get into injury crashes ? and the consequences are more extreme for young drivers. Make the message loud and clear: No driving and talking.
7. When you choose a car for a teenager, invest in safety features. Roughly 90 percent of parents pass down a family vehicle, or purchase a used vehicle, for their teens. When choosing a vehicle, safety ? and safety features ? should be the top priority. A particular tip: Look for anti-lock brakes (standard in most late-model vehicles), which help young drivers maintain control during hard stops.
8. Draw up -- and display -- a teen-parent driver contract. A written pact creates an opportunity for your family to discuss, understand, and sign off on clear, ironclad safety rules with your child including enforced seat belt use, a zero-alcohol-tolerance policy, and rules for driving with friends, night driving, speeding, etc.
The S.C. Department of Public Safety has said it is essential for parents to take an active role in their teen's driving if the number of deaths is to be reduced. Consider the ways to get involved.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 18 -- 13 October 2005
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html
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TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Troubleshooting / IG Nobels
If you keep your computer powered on all the time, will it eventually get tired and cranky? Could cosmic rays be making your VCR misbehave? And can you make perfume with the help of over-stressed amphibians? Read on for answers...
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When Patrick and I started the TOURBUS newsletter back in 1995, it was one of the first sponsored email newsletters. We never expected that people would actually *thank us* for including advertising, but they do! Lots of people have written to say thanks for introducing them to our sponsors, and ACSM Supplies is often mentioned.
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Do Computers Get Tired?
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Does your computer start acting up when it's been running for several days? Is it electron buildup? Cosmic rays? Until recently, I would have dismissed the notion that electronic gunk can accumulate in a machine and cause it to act erratically. But it turns out there is some good science to support this notion.
http://www.askbobrankin.com/do_computers_get_tired.html
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Troubleshooting Flaky Internet Connections
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Does your Internet connection just drop sometimes, for no apparent reason? It could be gremlins. Or maybe you forgot to pay the cable bill again. Then again, it could be a hardware problem with a simple solution. Or maybe we should blame it on the software. Read my new article "Internet Connection Fails" for some helpful ideas on finding the source of the problem.
http://www.askbobrankin.com/internet_connection_fails.html
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The IG Nobel Prizes
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Surely you've heard of the Nobel Prize, which is awarded for great achievements in Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, Literature and Peace. But have you heard about the IG NOBEL Prize? The Igs, which honor individuals whose achievements "cannot or should not be reproduced" are intended to celebrate the unusual, honor the imaginative, and take a good-natured poke at some remarkably goofy things done in the name of science.
http://www.improb.com/ig/ig-top.html
This year's Ig Nobel Prizes, sponsored by the science humor magazine "The Annals of Improbable Research", were awarded at Harvard University on October 6. Here are some of the highlights:
--> LITERATURE: Truth Really is Stranger Than Fiction
Awarded to the Internet entrepreneurs of Nigeria, for creating and distributing a bold series of short stories, introducing millions of readers to a cast of characters such as Mrs. Mariam Abacha, who desperately needs your help (and cash) to obtain access to untold riches which are unjustly withheld from her.
RELATED NEWS: http://www.hotnews360.com/nigerian-scam-news.html
--> PEACE: Luke the Locust discovers his real Faathaaaa!
Awarded to Claire Rind and Peter Simmons of Newcastle University, in the U.K., for electrically monitoring the activity of a brain cell in a locust while that locust was watching selected highlights from the movie "Star Wars."
RELATED NEWS: http://www.hotnews360.com/star-wars-news.html
--> BIOLOGY: Nope, it's not Teen Spirit... Just a stressed-out frog
Awarded to Benjamin Smith of the University of Adelaide and the Firmenich perfume company, for painstakingly smelling & cataloging the peculiar odors produced by 131 different species of frogs when the frogs were feeling stressed.
RELATED NEWS: http://www.hotnews360.com/frogs-news.html
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How Safe Is Your Computer?
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Did you know... a survey conducted by the National Cyber Security Alliance (NCSA) and backed by the US Department of Homeland Security found that more than 70% of computer owners falsely believed they were safe from online threats such as adware, spyware and viruses?
The truth is, it's easy to get infected without even knowing it. Downloading free software or visiting tainted Web pages can often infect your computer. What's an unsuspecting computer owner to do? No need to worry - you can take steps to eliminate this false sense of security by taking a few precautions to protect yourself. And Smart Computing can help. Sign up for your 3 RISK-FREE ISSUES now!
http://www.tourbus.com/smart.htm
That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
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==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238
Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved
Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html
Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the
Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
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Sam Boggs shared the following with us. I believe that Wal-Mart and other such large corporate stores are responsive to our desires, not responsible for them.
Bug
“... thought I'd pass along kind words about an AR company. There's just something about a profit motive, which government, of course, doesn't have.”
Government can take lesson from Wal-Mart
By Bill Steigerwald
TRIBUNE-REVIEW Friday, October 14, 2005
Some people will never stop hating Wal-Mart.
If it gave away everything on its shelves and starting paying its army of associates better than union autoworkers, Wal-Mart still would be criticized in the mainstream media and elsewhere by those who don't understand economics or automatically despise businesses that are big and successful.
But as Fortune magazine shows in its issue focusing on how big corporations such as Wal-Mart, Home Depot and FedEx relied on principles of good crisis management to get the job done before and after Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast, the world's biggest retailer ain't all bad and all evil.
As Fortune details in its "After Katrina" package, as soon as Katrina's winds passed, Wal-Mart -- and its equally clever, well-prepared and well-run corporate cousins -- quickly stepped over or around the confused, floundering and sluggish bodies of federal, state and local government relief agencies and sprang into action.
Wal-Mart not only implemented emergency plans six days before Katrina hit land. It knew from its in-house meteorologists that Katrina had zigged toward New Orleans 12 hours before the National Weather Service issued a similar advisory.
Wal-Mart knows from experience what things people buy before and after hurricanes pass by, and it shipped extra amounts of them by the truckload: Obvious items such as flashlights, dry ice and tarps, but also Strawberry Pop-Tarts.
Its stores also were overstocked on basics: water, shoes, prescription drugs and clothing. One manager of a storm surge-smashed Wal-Mart in Waveland, Miss., was praised by her bosses for deciding on her own to give away whatever she could salvage to battered hurricane victims in the parking lot.
Home Depot also is used to dealing with hurricanes. It had mobilized four days before Katrina hit, Fortune says. It had generators and building supplies pre-positioned to the left and right of Katrina's projected path and had 23 of 33 stores in the hurricane disaster zone open the next day.
Fortune doesn't suggest for a moment that private corporations, no matter how efficiently they are run or how well they plan for risk, have the resources to replace government relief.
But it does contrast the successes of Wal-Mart and Home Depot to the many stumbles and failings of FEMA, the Red Cross and local governments. As one local mayor gushes, "The Red Cross and FEMA need to take a masters class in logistics and mobilization from Wal-Mart."
That will never happen, of course. Governments will always act like governments, and private companies will always act like private companies, even during major disasters
Bill Steigerwald can be reached at bsteigerwald@tribweb.com
or (412) 320-7983.
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FEMA Disaster Medical Assistance Teams Hard At Work; Federal Teams Have
Treated More Than 100,000 Patients
Release Date: September 30, 2005
Release Number: HQ-05-315
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Federal Emergency Management Agency's Disaster Medical Assistance Teams (DMATs) were staged in the Gulf Region prior to Hurricane Katrina made landfall and have been on the ground treating patients ever since. The teams have treated more than 100,000 patients of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita to date, the largest population served in the teams' history. FEMA's DMATs are currently setup and working in Hattiesburg, Mississippi; Thibodaux, New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Lake Charles, Lafayette and Gonzales, Louisiana; and Beaumont, Livingston, Port Arthur, Nacogdoches, Woodville, Orange, and Waco, Texas.
"FEMA's Disaster Medical Assistance Teams have been on the ground and working continuously to save lives and provide medical services to those impacted by Hurricanes Katrina and Rita," said Acting FEMA Director David Paulison. "They started out in mash-style tent operations during the immediate response and now are supporting hospitals where staff is still evacuated or were themselves victims of the hurricane. They are trained to work in disaster settings and their work has been heroic and tireless through these last four weeks."
The National Disaster Medical System (NDMS), housed at DHS-FEMA, is a cooperative asset-sharing program that augments local medical care when an emergency exceeds the scope of a community's hospital and healthcare resources. The emergency resources -- which include some 8,000 medical and support personnel from across the country -- come from federal, state and local governments, the private sector and civilian volunteers. These teams train together and deploy as a unit from cities across the nation when FEMA calls.
"Our team, made up of doctors, nurses and other medical support team members from Texas supported the Katrina efforts early on and we are now rotating back into Texas after a brief break," said Mona Khanna, M.D., M.P.H, Medical Officer for the Texas 4 DMAT Team, who brings expertise in internal medicine and public disaster health to FEMA medical aid efforts. "Our team arrives in Port Arthur , Texas , today to a hospital that was evacuated and closed so we can provide emergency services to those patients in the area. Many of the regular hospital staff and doctors are dealing with their personal storm damage."
Just one piece of National Disaster Medical System is FEMA's Disaster Medical Assistance Teams. These 55 teams located across the nation deploy to disaster sites to provide medical care at a fixed or temporary medical care site -- a tent, a shelter, a hospital or other facility -- with supplies and equipment sufficient to sustain their operations for a period of 72 hours. Additional supplies then push in behind after their immediate arrival. These teams' responsibilities include providing emergency care for serious needs from stabilizing critical care patients to administering immunizations. The teams provide high-quality medical care despite the adverse and austere environment often found at a disaster site.
In some situations, DMATs may provide primary medical care or may serve to augment overloaded local health care staffs. Under the rare circumstance that disaster victims are evacuated to a different locale to receive definitive medical care, DMATs may be activated to support patient reception and disposition of patients to hospitals.
The National Disaster Medical System assets overseen at DHS-FEMA include:
55 Disaster Medical Assistance Teams (DMATs), which include federal, state, local and private medical professionals. In addition, there are specialized teams to handle burns, pediatrics, crush injuries, surgery and mental health;
11 Disaster Mortuary Operational Response Teams (DMORTs) -- which consist of private citizens with specialized training and experience to help in the recovery, identification and processing of deceased victims;
4 National Medical Response Teams (NMRTs), to deal with the medical consequences of incidents potentially involving chemical, biological or nuclear materials;
4 Veterinary Medical Assistance Teams (VMATs), which include clinician veterinarians, pathologists, animal health technicians, microbiologists and others who assist animal disaster victims and provide care to search dogs; and
3 International Medical Surgical Teams (IMSuRTs) -- one operational and two under development -- highly specialized, trained and equipped to establish a fully capable free-standing field surgical facility anywhere in the world.
National Disaster Medical Assistance Teams have recently responded to large-scale disasters including The World Trade Center in September 2001, Hurricane Isabel in September 2003 and treated approximately 10,000 patients during the four hurricanes that hit Florida in 2004, in addition to many other disasters.
FEMA prepares the nation for all hazards and manages federal response and recovery efforts following any national incident. FEMA also initiates mitigation activities, trains first responders, works with state and local emergency managers, and manages the National Flood Insurance Program and the U.S. Fire Administration. FEMA became part of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security on March 1, 2003.
Thanks to John Burge
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TGIF-Today God Is First
Covenant Relationships
by Os Hillman, October 10, 2005
But I will establish My covenant with you, and you will enter the ark - you and your sons and your wife and your sons' wives with you. - Genesis 6:18
The Bible is filled with covenants made between God and people. Six of those covenants were made with Old Testament figures: Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, and David. The seventh was made with His own Son, Jesus Christ. God is always the strongest partner in a covenant relationship.
God made a covenant with Noah in order to preserve the human race. This covenant involved Noah's participation by building an ark. He'd never built an ark before. He'd never had a boat. It was a totally new concept to Noah and the rest of the world. Why would he need a boat in a dry land?
Noah did not have to invent the ark; God gave him the plans-in specific dimensional detail. He did not have to gather the animals-God led them into the ark. God even closed the door when they all came on board. God made it rain to prove why the ark was needed.
The covenant provided all Noah needed to complete his mission in life. When God spoke to Noah to do this thing, he needed only to respond to God's call to do it. Noah could rest in knowing the covenant made with God was going to be fulfilled if he fulfilled his part.
If you have entered into a covenant relationship with God, you too can be assured that God will uphold His part of the covenant relationship. He is committed to fulfilling His covenant with you and to fulfill His purposes in and through your life. It only requires one thing on your part-obedience. He will even provide grace and faith to you to help you fulfill your part of the covenant.
Each of us has a covenant with God. But we also enter covenants with others in our personal and business lives. How are you doing in fulfilling covenants to others? God has given us the example to follow. Ask God if you have any unfulfilled covenants you need to honor. He has called you and me to be covenant keepers.
The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it (1 Thessalonians 5:24).
-=+=-
When Plans are Thwarted
by Os Hillman, October 13, 2005
But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia. - Daniel 10:13
I left at 5:00 a.m. to fly to another city to present some possible joint initiatives in ministry with another organization. I would have only an hour or so to meet with the board. I got into the city and taxied to the hotel. This is great, I thought. No glitches. I am even here an hour early. I asked where the meeting was. There was no record of such a meeting, even though my contact was staying at the hotel. I made several calls, to no avail. What had I missed? I continued trying to reach someone. An hour and a half later I reached my wife. She located a letter that seemed to indicate the meeting might be downtown. I took a cab and arrived at the location. "I am sorry, sir, there are no seventh-floor offices in use yet in this building."
"That cannot be. My letter says different." After I insisted, she let me go up. I arrived on the seventh floor. Nothing but concrete. Perplexed, I called my wife again. We made contact with yet another person who gave us another number to call. Finally, we located where the meeting was taking place. I got into the cab for another $30 cab ride. Forty-five minutes later the cab driver was lost. We stopped at a dry cleaners and he asked the people there, where the street was located. I was past the point of anger. I was laughing at this situation. A few minutes later, we arrived at our destination, three and a half hours after our scheduled time.
Plans do not always go as we hope. Sometimes they are hindered for our purposes. Sometimes we are dealing in a spiritual realm in which we realize we are truly in a spiritual battle. And sometimes we are even hindered to protect us. After looking at this situation, I believe I was being hindered from getting to this meeting. However, perseverance and God's grace allowed me to make the meeting. Important initiatives resulted from the brief time I was there.
The next time your plans are thwarted, begin asking what is at the root of the calamities. Ask God for discernment on what is taking place. Just as He revealed to Daniel, God will show you what is behind such events.
-=+=-
Mount Horeb
by Os Hillman, October 9, 2005
So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. - 1 Kings 19:8
Elijah and Moses were men of great zeal. They were passionate about their causes.. Moses sought to free the Hebrews from the tyranny of slavery by killing an Egyptian with his own hand. Elijah, after calling down fire on the evil prophets of Baal, found himself spent physically and emotionally to the point he asked God to take his life.
Immediately after these two events, 500 years apart from one another, both men were led to the same Mount Horeb, the mountain of God. In Hebrew, Horeb means "desolation." This barren environment mirrored the condition of Moses and Elijah. For Moses, it was 40 years of barrenness. For Elijah, it was 40 days without food. Elijah became tired of standing alone for God.
As workplace believers we often become so focused on the goal we forget to meet God at our own Mount Horeb. This was the place God met both Moses and Elijah. It was a place of renewal, a place of new beginnings, a place of personal encounter with the living God.
Perhaps Elijah's greatest virtue was his zeal. Indeed, we shall see that twice in his communication with God, Elijah speaks of having been "very zealous" for the Lord. But zeal, unattended eventually becomes its own God; it compels us toward expectations, which are unrealistic, and outside the timing and anointing of God.
To remain balanced, zeal must be reined in and harnessed by strategic encounters with the living God. We otherwise become frustrated with people and discouraged with delays. We step outside our place of strength and spiritual protection. Many of us become so consumed with our battles that we are no longer aware of the presence of Jesus. We have been traveling in our own strength. [Francis Frangipane, Place of Immunity (Cedar Rapids, Iowa: Arrow Publications, 1994), 5.]
Pray that Jesus will teach us that intimacy with Him is the greatest measure of success. Lord, guide us to the mountain of Your presence.
-=+=-
An Audience of One
by Os Hillman, October 12, 2005
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2
What audience do you play to? Each day you are seen by many who will make a judgment about the way you handle yourself among different audiences. Politicians have learned to play to their audiences, customizing messages for the needs of their particular groups. Musicians have learned to play to their audiences. Pastors play to their congregations each Sunday morning. Workplace believers play to the audiences who will buy their product.
Christ has called us to play to one audience - the audience of Himself. When you seek to please any other audience in your life, you become susceptible to situational ethics and motivations based on the need for the moment. Your audience becomes a pawn in your hands because you know what they want. Is that wrong? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.
Pure obedience to pleasing God in our lives will often meet the needs of those around us. It is God's will that you and I love our spouses, provide good services to our customers, and look to the interests of others before ourselves. This will result in meeting many needs of the audiences in our lives.
However, there are other times when our audiences are asking for something contrary to God's will. Politicians are often forced to appease their audiences, even though it may go against God's laws. When we are asked to go with the flow, we discover which audience is most important in our lives. Is it the audience of One, or the audience of many?
Today, be aware of which audience you are playing to. Ask yourself why you are taking a particular action. Is it to please the audience of One? Or is it to please the audience of others who might negatively impact you should you not play to their tune?
-=+=-
Copyright 2005. www.MarketplaceLeaders.org
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To contact Os Hillman, request reprint permission, or to book Os to speak in your town write to os@marketplaceleaders.org. Marketplace Leaders Website: http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/ Copyright 2005
--------------------------------------------------
Please recommend this TGIF daily devotional to everyone interested in applying their faith to their worklife. Tell them to subscribe at http://www.TodayGodIsFirst.com
Os Hillman Copyright 2005
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Activities and Events of Interest
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Steak and Bingo Dinner Rescheduled - October 22
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The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/
The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
01. Lance Cpl. Patrick B. Kenny, 20, of Pittsburgh, Pa., died Oct. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Al Karmah, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
02. Lance Cpl. Daniel M. McVicker, 20, of Alliance, Ohio, died Oct. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Al Qaim, Iraq. He was assigned to Combat Service Support Detachment 21, 2nd Force Service Support Group, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Cherry Point, N.C. As part of Operation Iraqi Freedom he was attached to Regimental Combat Team 2, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
03. Pfc. Shayne M. Cabino, 19, of Canton, Mass., died Oct. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Al Karmah, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
The Department of Defense announced the death of three Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
04. Cpl. Nicholas O. Cherava, 21, of Ontonagon, Mich., and
05. Lance Cpl. Jason L. Frye, 19, of Landisburg, Pa., died Oct. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Al Karmah, Iraq. They were assigned to 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
06. Lance Cpl. Carl L. Raines II, 20, of Coffee, Ala, died Oct. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Al Qaim, Iraq. He was assigned to Combat Service Support Detachment 21, 2nd Force Service Support Group, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Cherry Point, N.C. As part of Operation Iraqi Freedom he was attached to Regimental Combat Team 2, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
07. Sgt. 1st Class Moses E. Armstead, 44, of Rochester, N.Y., died at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Landstuhl, Germany, on Oct. 6, of a non-combat related illness identified on Oct. 5, as he was returning from leave status and preparing to redeploy to Afghanistan. Armstead was assigned to the Army's 16th Ordnance Battalion, Aberdeen Proving Ground, Md.
08. Pfc. Benny S. Franklin, 19, of Hammond, La., died in Kandahar, Afghanistan, on Oct. 7, of injuries sustained earlier that day in Helmand, Afghanistan, when he stepped on a landmine during patrol operations. Franklin was assigned to the Army's 2nd Battalion, 319th Airborne Field Artillery Regiment, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.
09. Staff Sgt. Timothy J. Roark, 29, of Houston, Texas, died in Balad, Iraq, on Oct. 2, of a non-combat related injury. Roark was assigned to the Army's 4th Battalion, 123rd Aviation Regiment, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died of injuries sustained in Haqlaniyah, Iraq, on Oct. 7, when their dismounted patrol was attacked by enemy forces using small arms fire. Both soldiers were assigned to the Army's 3rd Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C. Killed were:
10. Sgt. Eric A. Fifer, 22, of Knoxville, Tenn. Fifer died in Al Asad, Iraq.
11. Pfc. Nicholas J. Greer, 21, of Monroe, Mich. Greer died in Haqlaniyah, Iraq.
12. Staff Sgt. Gary R. Harper Jr., 29, of Virden, Ill., died in Baghdad, Iraq on Oct. 9, when his reconnaissance mission was attacked by enemy forces. Harper was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 5th Special Forces Group, Fort Campbell, Ky.
13. Lt. Col. Leon G. James II, 46, of Sackets Harbor, N.Y., died at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C., on Oct. 10, of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on Sep. 26, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. James was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 314th Field Artillery Regiment, 2nd Brigade, 78th Division, Fort Drum, N.Y.
14. Staff Sgt. Jerry L. Bonifacio Jr., 28, of Vacaville, Calif., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Oct. 10, when a vehicle-borne improvised explosive device detonated near his checkpoint. Bonifacio was assigned to the Army National Guard's 1st Battalion, 184th Infantry Regiment, Dublin, Calif.
15. Spc. Jeremy M. Hodge, 20, of Ridgeway, Ohio, died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Oct. 10, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Hodge was assigned to the Army National Guard's 612th Engineer Battalion, Tiffin, Ohio.
16. Staff Sgt. Matthew A. Kimmell, 30, of Paxton, Ind., died in Muqdadiyah, Iraq, on Oct. 11, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Kimmell was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 5th Special Forces Group, Fort Campbell, Ky.
17. Staff Sgt. Troy S. Ezernack, 39, of Lancaster, Pa., died in Qalat, Afghanistan, on Oct. 9, of injuries sustained earlier that day when his combat patrol was attacked by enemy forces using a grenade. Ezernack was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment, 173rd Airborne Brigade, Vicenza, Italy.
18. Lance Cpl. Sergio H. Escobar, 18, of Pasadena, Calif., died Oct. 9 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Ar Ramadi, Iraq. Escobar was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, his unit was attached to the 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, on Oct. 10, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their M2A2 Bradley Fighting Vehicle during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 30th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Benning, Ga. Killed were:
19. Sgt. 1st Class Brandon K. Sneed, 33, of Norman, Okla.
20. Sgt. Leon M. Johnson, 28, of Jacksonville, Fla.
21. Staff Sgt. Troy S. Ezernack, 39, of Lancaster, Pa., died in Qalat, Afghanistan, on Oct. 9, of injuries sustained earlier that day when his combat patrol was attacked by enemy forces using a grenade. Ezernack was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment, 173rd Airborne Brigade, Vicenza, Italy
22. Spc. James T. Grijalva, 26, of Burbank, Ill., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Oct. 12, of a non-combat related injury. Grijalva was assigned to the Army National Guard's 2nd Battalion, 130th Infantry Regiment, Urbana, Ill.
23. Master Sgt. Kenneth E. Hunt Jr., 40, of Tucson, Ariz., died Oct. 12 at Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas. Hunt died from wounds received July 24 when the vehicle he was riding in struck an anti-tank mine while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Taqaddum, Iraq. Hunt was assigned to Marine Wing Support Group 37, 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Air Station Yuma, Ariz.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Balad, Iraq, on Oct. 12, when their military vehicle collided with a civilian vehicle and overturned. Both soldiers were assigned to the 24th Transportation Company, 541st Maintenance Battalion, Fort Riley, Kan. Killed were:
24. Sgt. Donald D. Furman, 30, of Burton, S.C.
25. Sgt. Lorenzo Ponce Ruiz, 26, of El Paso, Texas.
26. Spc. Robert W. Tucker, 20, of Hilham, Tenn., died in Ad Dujayl, Iraq, on Oct. 13, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Tucker was assigned to the Army National Guard's 3rd Squadron, 278th Armored Cavalry Regiment, Jamestown, Tenn.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"Fight till you win!" - - Mark Brazee
"Bring 'em on!" - -President George W. Bush
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - - Margaret Mead
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
John 15:5-8 Psa 46:1-3 Luke 1:18-20 Mat 26:6-10 Micah 7:8-10
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. This week, "Word" and "PDF" subscribers get to see photos of Albemarle Firefighters and one of our favorite nieces.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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posted by Bug | 7:41 AM
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